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So, again and again I have to make the lead to my post be a disclaimer as this site NOT being tabloid junk. But here is my genious way of taking something ABSOLUTELY irrelevent to the nerd world and twisting and warping it to make it have ONE thing in geek common!

Heidi Montag has recently been plastered across the universe as being in the current issue of Playboy. I was curious, not having seen The Hills but seeing her on magizine covers and hearing all her bullshit on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. So when the preview of next motnths playboy in last months issue, gave the coming of a Heidi Pictorial! So seeing this hot piece of girl ass  in front of me, I was looking forward to a celebutant session, which are few and far between nowadays.

The issue comes all wrapped up for me last week and I tore into it. I went right for the Heidi pictorial and started my analysis. The first few Playboy pics always have the girl fully and scantily clad, so I knew what to expect.And sidenote, her boyfriend or husband Spencer,wrote an ENTIRE article on his vapid girl and sucked his own dick a little while he promoted them on how much they pretend to not care what people think, but they so embarrassingly do. Now here come the pics. Soooooo fucken LAME!!!!!! It may have well been Maxim, the girl didn’t go tit for tat one bit. They are shiesters, pikers and lying promotion whores. Heidi Montag didn’t show any frontal or….hell she didn’ t show Playboy caliber skin. Playboy should be ashamed of their misleading campain, and Heidi should feel like a loser for her non harcore or daring or scandelous behavior. Let me take a moment to address an audience of one please.

Heidi, this is Zach Lawrence. You have failed at the ONE THING that could have made you sexy, classy and badass. You suck, hard, and are a prude and totally VANILLA interchangable Hollywood Celebutant. Nothing more, and your husband is THE biggest tool in the box.

And for you NerdBastards, earlier I mentioned that this has something to do with geekdom and I’ll tell you….They call them Speidi!!!!!! Like Spidey!!!! See, its like comics! It has to do with NB!! YAY!!Get It!?

Category: TV, WTF?

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