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He-Man Movie Is Not Happening…Woo Hoo!

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Two things you need to know about me. I enjoy taking showers sitting down and I’m an avid He-man fan. Yea know the “I have the power” blond, possibly gay muscle dude from the 80’s action cartoon that was based on the rather successful toyline. Although liking He-man has always made me question my sexuality I just dig the barbarian scifi stuff, plus the toys were cool. I always thought He-man could be easily adapted to a live action flick. Yes there was a He-man flick in the 80’s starring Dolph Lundren (Rocky 4) but it was so terrible I’ve but all erased it from my mind.  When I think of a He-man flick I envision an EPIC, high budgeted stylistic, Sci-Fi, fantasy, action flick that’s dark and bleak with a modicum of humor (for the kiddies) . I think 300 meets Lord of The Rings.  As a fan I won’t accept anything less than that.

There have been talks about a live action He-man movie for a while now. News first started back in 2002 when it was rumored that director Ang Lee (Broke Back Mountain) had expressed interest but he has since passed on the project. Warner Brothers actually owns the screen rights and in 2007 they got producer Joel Silver to try to get something happening. A script by loser writer Justin Marks (Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Lee) hit the blogosphere about a year or two back. I read it and wasn’t a fan. Not only did it lack substance but Marks took to many liberties with the source material. He even went as far as to give Skeletor a mask instead of portraying him as the boned faced baddie that we all know and love. I’m sorry but you don’t fuck with things like that. Despite its massive suckage this script made its rounds and gained a lot of praise and was in motion to get the green light. Went so far that Warner Bros. locked in a director John Stevenson (Kung Fu Panda). Yea that’s right the fucking Panda director! Anyway when Mark’s Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Lee massively bombed at the box office and became a huge laughing stock Warner Bros. decided to drop his He-man script and go in another direction. If you think things couldn’t get any worse well hear this. They hired newbie, uncredited writer Evan Daugherty. His vision was as follows:

a gritty fantasy that reimagines Adam as a soldier who sets off to find his destiny, happening upon the magical world of Eternia. There, Skeletor has raised a technological army and is bent on eradicating magic.

Jesus Christ! Talk about raping the source material. Yea lets take Skeletor who is an evil demon, bastard, sorcerer, supreme and turn him into a Best Buy tech support guy with anger issues. Is it really that hard to get a great writer that can preserves the heart of the source material, take it in a new direction, and add a bit of mythos and depth? I had been planning a trip to visit Daugherty so I could kick him in the nuts but it seems I can cancel those plans as I’ve come across some fantastic news. Variety reports:

Warner Bros. and Mattel will be parting company on “Masters of the Universe,” the live-action reinvention of the signature Mattel toy line that WB and producer Joel Silver have been developing since 2007.

Mattel and WB didn’t see eye to eye over the direction of the project and made a mutual decision to let the option lapse this month.

As I said in my title WOO HOO! Although the future of He-man and The Masters of The Universe remains to be seen I can let out a sigh of relief that my beloved child hood cartoon won’t be getting rapped anytime soon. Let us hope that Mattel takes this to a studio that shares its vision and that they can score a writer that gives a shit and a director that can do it justice. Come on Guillermo Del Toro get on top of this! Btw I still plan on kicking Daugherty in the nuts.

Category: Film

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