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Top 5 Horrifyingly BAD Toys

There are fads in music. There are fads in clothing. Hell, there is even movie fads dictating whole generations of lingo people use i.e. Wayan’s World, Napoleon Dynamite and Austin Powers. So naturally we’ve had some toy fads, and I am here to list the bottom of the barrel. I mean bad ones. Toys you may not have known were toys. I’ve compiled my data and I’m delivering you the Top 5- I am even guilty of owning a couple of these horrifying pieces of shit. Spike.

5) Pogs- Was it a game? Was it a Toy? Why did you collect them? How did you play? Why was it SO popular for a day? Why did it stop being a game? And why did they claim they were going to be worth “So much money!!!”? I barely remember what they looked like…They tread on the edges of  my childhood, like someone rollerblading on the edge of the grand canyon…Right on the brink of disappearing forever, and people laughing that someone would be involved in such a stupid endeavor.

4)CabbagePatchKids- One of the first riot inducing toys in the mid 80’s. These dolls got people murdered! Christmas’s were destroyed for thousands of children who’s parents waited in line for 12 hours to leave empty handed. They weren’t necessarily bad toys, just rediculously popular for no reason whatsoever.

3)Beanie Babies- The dolls that were going to make everyone millionaires. This giant selection of toys made every kid (and lots of adults) collect the endless supply of beanbags just because you were “Investing”. Beanie babies can still be found on dashboards around the world…

2)Giga Pets-Before Nintendogs, and Furbys were these tiny, rediculous toys that people obsessed over like FaceBook and Myspace. It was a 1bit or less keychain egg, and you basically raised a face, and fed it little pixel bits. So bad, it lasted about as long as pogs, and most people would want start fresh so they would brutally starve their Gigapet to death…It was a strange Japanese invention…Ah, the Japanese…Still entertaining themselves with weird and bizarre inventions that are borderline meaningless. (This pic is actually a high tech new version, so just imagine what they USED to be!)

 

1)Furbys- The biggest waste of money, and the biggest bullshit toy ever made.. Told that this thing could interact with other Furbys when facing it, they just ranted in half English and half Furbish. You fed them by putting your finger in its mouth, tortured it by holding it upside down, and thought you saw the devil when you stared into its eyes for too long. They made cute noises and that was it. They would turn on in the middle of the night sometimes and speak in strange tonues, making you think it was plotting your death. I’m glad they are DONE, and I’m sorry my mom has two…

Category: Nerd Culture, WTF?

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