Sweet Jesus. I begin many of my posts with that statement. Most of the time it relates to something that has absolutely floored me in the way of a movie trailer, unexpected crazy film news, video game clips and so on and so forth. This time however, I believe it has an entirely different meaning.

There are two types of insane fans in this world, fans of Star Trek (Conventions?), and fans of Jesus (Pentecostals?) Put those two hands together, and you get something I hardly understand. I will go to my religious guide, Dave, to help me understand what I am about to dump upon you…Klingons For Christ…Not a part of the show, nor an ACTUAL species, but…An actual religious sect. Be afraid. Be very afraid after the spike.

So…I can’t tell if this website (Run by an Admiral Riker…), is a religious fanatic of some domination trying to get people interested in  Jesus by relating it with Star Trek. Or if this guy is a Star Trek fan trying to prove he is absolutely NOT an idolator! For example, KFK says:

Is the image of Christ as the humble and suffering servant compatible with Klingon attitudes? More to the point, how would a Klingon warrior react to the fragile, demure, and subjugated figure of Christ hanging upon a cross? Ah! Of course a Klingon would reject such a figure, presented as it has been by countless Renaissance artists and Sunday School teachers over the years.

But that is not the true picture of Christ. Christ was a robust and strong man, capable of fashioning a whip out of cords and using it to drive the corrupt moneychangers out of the temple area, all the while overturning heavy tables. He went fishing at a time when fishing was hard labor indeed. But this pales in comparison to his endurance and courage at the end of his life.

After enduring the taunts of his captors, their beating him with fists, being trundled roughly from one judge to another, Christ is beaten close to death with a Roman flagellum, a whip with each leather lash weighted with a heavy piece of metal, or sometimes bone, that would rip into flesh, bruise the muscle, and then tear the flesh as it was pulled away. After stretching him on a pole so that his skin was taut, the flagellum was used by a trained Roman guard to flay his skin from his back. People often died from this abuse, but Christ survived.
The Roman soldiers fitted a crown of thorns roughly onto his head. These Judean thorns were like spikes often an inch or two in length. They placed a heavy robe on his back and taunted him with more beatings. When they removed the crown and robe, the coagulated blood would have been pulled away and all of his wounds, especially the raw flesh of his back, would have been re-opened. Medical experts predict, at this point, that Christ’s loss of blood should have at least put him into shock, possibly killing a normal man.
This man, Jesus, carried a heavy piece of timber to the place of crucifixion. The blood-loss was so severe that after stumbling several times, an observer was pressed into carrying it for him part of the way.
Jesus was then pinned to this rough wooden cross, which undoubtedly opened his back wounds again. Through each wrist, a large iron spike was hammered. Medical experts conjecture that this was done mostly to cause unendurable pain, for the nail would surely pierce the radial nerve, causing a burning pain throughout the arm and shoulder and chest. The Roman guards, well-trained and adept at causing maximum suffering, would put another spike through the front of both feet.
Christ was so exhausted by this ordeal that every word he spoke was torture. To take a breath, even a shallow one, required that he lift his weight onto the nailed feet, an excruciating ordeal. As he tired, he bought each breath with pain.

To the Klingon, this illustrates a feature of Christ’s personality that is often neglected. The Klingon Rite of Ascension requires that the initiate walk between two rows of warriors armed with pain sticks. This is sometimes called The Way of Blood. It is a test of a warrior’s commitment and courage. Christ satisfied this requirement and much, much more. And this act was no punishment for a criminal, as the Romans intended, nor was it a rite that had only a symbolic meaning.

Christ did not run from this pain; he welcomed it. His sacrifice was an act of will. In this crucifixion, Christ defeated his enemies. And this is what makes him a suitable savior for the Klingon as well as the human and all races.

Ok. I’m pretty sure from my enthusiastically agnostic studies, Jesus says, love your enemies as well as your loved ones, as well as, telling Peter to put his sword away…Hmmm… The Klingon’s have a different take on the warrior in Christ:

Warrior Texts from The Bible

Ephesians 6:10-13 The Equipping

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For we do not wrestle

against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore take

up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand

LUKE 10 19-20 We have Authority given to us through Christ Jesus

19Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. 20Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that

the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”

In the words of Borat, “Woah Wee Wee Woah”…These guys are fucken READY!! They are either grossly misinterpreting biblical proverbs, or bending it to the will of the Klingon. I would love to hear anybodies theory on what this insanity is…Or, if it is not insanity!

This usually outspoken writer will leave you with this profound word of confusion.


Category: Film, Nerd Culture, TV, WTF?