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Star Wars: Where Are They Now?

WUHER

Mos Eisley Cantina Bartender

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

 

Wuher is a Tatooine native who spent most of his time trying to concoct the perfect drink that would please Jabba and bring him wealth and fame.  (For a complete description, check out his Wookieepedia page)

But what happened to Wuher after Jabba’s demise?  What’s a man to do when he’s stuck in a dead-end job, dreams shattered?  Rumor (that I made up just now) has it, immediately following Jabba’s death, Wuher attempted to sell his potion to the Desilijics, Jabba’s Hutt clan.  He was unsuccessful in his plight, and they captured and humiliated the bartender.  After being enslaved for several months, and forced to clean Hutt restrooms and mop the floors of Hutt strip club Champagne rooms, Wuher was finally able to escape.  Chalmun, the Wookiee who owned the Cantina, was unsympathetic of Wuher’s fate and due to his affiliations with the Hutts was determined to recapture him to stay in their good graces.  After a few near misses with Chalmun on his tail, Wuher decided to leave Tatooine for good, and hitched a ride to Coruscant.  After working some odd jobs for the Imperial Security Bureau, Wuher had saved up enough cash to buy some camera equipment, and recruited different races for his new entrepreneurial enterprise: inter-species pornography.  As it turns out, most people are repulsed by the thought of Ewoks and Gamorreans having intercourse, but it gained enough of a following for a website with weekly live webcam shows.  It supplied enough money for Wuher to stop working for the Empire and work full-time from home.  He’s popular now in the underground fetish scene, and his Twitter page has about 12,000 followers.

 

Category: Film, WTF?

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