Hot off the heels of zombie mania, here’s The Top Ten Of The Dead. The monster hit Zombieland, and the master of zombie himself George Romero’s new Survival Of The Dead, are getting rave rewiews. So, it seemed to be a no brainer(no pun intended) to put together our favorite Zombies of movie history. Let’s see which one can shuffle and moan their way to the number 1 spot!
My Boyfriend’s Back (1993)
Let’s start this off with a little comedy. My Boyfriend’s Back did for zombies what Buffy The Vampire Slayer did for vampires. It added comedy. Some may consider this to be the first zombie comedy. Andrew Lowery plays Johnny Dingle a nerd in love. His heart beats for Missy Mccloud so much that he comes back from the dead just to go to the prom with her. Unfortunately his hunger for flesh can’t be contained and a few people need to be eaten. What can ya do? Another thing to mention is that the great Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Mathew Fox of Lost are in this. I guess everyone had to start somwhere. This gets the number 10 slot for helping open the door for Zombie Comedys everywhere.
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Stubbs The Zombie: Rebel Without A Pulse(2005)
I know what you’re thinking. Hey, what about Resident Evil? Yeah Resident Evil scared the shit out of me too. I love Resident Evil and all the sequels. I have to say though, when you first put Stubbs into your XBox and finally got to stop running away from zombies and finally got to eat some sorry fuck’s brains, it was a marvelous feeling. By the end of the game your horde of undead flesh eaters lay waste to the fifty’s inspired landscape. It was just an all around kick ass experience and a must play for any fan of zombies.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller(1983)
We can’t be talking about zombies without mentioning the King Of Pop. Too soon? No. Okay I’ll keep going. When I was a kid I loved Michael Jackson and I’m not afraid to say it. The Thriller video is held on a pedistal for every musician to aspire to and has never been topped. Hence why whenever MTV puts together a list of top videos Thriller is always numero uno. John Landis did such an amazing job with this video and the creature effects are top notch. When you first see Jackson as a zombie it is a very memorable image. You know what though, I’m sick of him being number 1 so that’s why he’s number 8. R.I.P
A comic book horror movie? What’s that you say? A collection of Stephen King short stories compiled into this cult classic directed by George Romero himself. One could argue that the Fathers Day cake zombie is the better zombie in this film but, I like Ted Danson as the waterlogged lover in Something To Tide You Over. Leslie Neilson plays a pissed off husband that buries Ted Danson up to his neck for sleeping with his wife. As the tide rolls in nothing little Teddy can do but drown. I won’t give away the end but, lets just say the tide turns in this one! Mr Danson gets our number 7 spot for being one degree of separation from Woody Harrelson. That, and being the wrinkliest(is that a word) Zombie ever to come out of the ocean.
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This out of nowhere low budget zombie flick has been dubbed, “The feel good zombie film of the year”. Directed by Andrew Currie and starring Billy Connolly as Fido. The reason why I love Fido so much is because of how awesome Connolly is. No one could’ve done it better. It is a really heartwarming story with zombies. How the fuck can you argue with that? A zombie love story? What? With the post zombie war and again with the fifty’s style look it was a home run. Great Flick! Also gotta mention the dude with the zombie girlfriend…creepy.
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Return Of The Living Dead 3(1993)
If we were doing a list of the top ten zombies that I would like to fuck. Julie played by Melinda Clarke in “Return Of The Living Dead III” would hands down be number 1. The Return Of The Living Dead series is in my opinion the funnest all around zombie films. They border TROMA levels of silly but, still keep it cool. In part three When Julie breaks her neck in the motorcycle accident and slowly turns from a hungry zombie into punk zombie slut it is just plain awesome. I can, without question, call Julie the “Queen Of the Undead.”
Julies Transformation HERE
Braindead AKA Dead Alive(1992)
You can’t have a zombie list without Dead Alive. Peter Jackson’s zombie epic did for the genre what Lord Of the Rings did for fantasy. It took it to a whole new level. This was the hardest pick for me. Dead Alive is filled with so many memorable zombies that it was hard to choose. I could’ve gone all the way back to the claymation Rat Monkey. Nah. Maybe I should pick the zombie baby? Nope. How about the, “I kick ass for the lord,” priest? Close but, no. I have to go with the mom on this one. Vera Cosgrove played by Elizabeth Moody sets the whole movie in motion after she gets bit by the rat monkey. So, If it wasn’t for her we wouldn’t have all the zombies to choose from. Plus, to top it off she turns into a super zombie monster with a man eating womb by the later part of the movie. It’s gotta go to Vera.
Vera has dinner HERE
Night Of The Living Dead(1968)
Here we are number 3. Night Of The Living Dead invented it all. Romero is a visionary, taking horror and adding social commentary to it. The Dead Trilogy (Land Of The Dead doesn’t count) gave birth to a genre. Now 41 years later the genre is still alive, well not alive, and filled with a slew of awesome movies. If it was not for Night Of The Living Dead who knows who would’ve had the brains(did it again) to do it. Nothing inspires what a zombie movie is all about more than the image of Karen Cooper. When she finally turns into a zombie and eats her coward fuck face of a father it is the first time we find ourselves rooting for a zombie.
Dawn Of The Dead(1978)
Ahhh America’s love for the mall. The one thing that stands out even more than all the zombies and the bright red paint looking blood is the bond the main characters share. You really do become attached to these characters that when Stephen, played by David Emge, gets bit and turns into a zombie it is very sad. When he starts to shuffle back to their hide out it becomes all the more apparent what Romero was going for. Creatures of habit. So, Stephen groans his way to number 2.
Day Of The Dead(1985)
And the number 1 spot goes to…Romero’s Best. Day Of The Dead has it all. Sick gore, fun characters, and a interesting story. It ties it all together. Now that the Dead have taken over, the few remaining survivors seek refuge in an underground military bunker. It’s in this bunker where scientists are trying to find a way to control all the zombies. It’s time for us to meet Bub. Sherman Howard masterfully plays Bub the zombie. He is the first zombie to finally be taught how to learn. Bub really is the genesis for what Land Of The Dead is all about. There is a reason Bub is on the cover of this film and that is because he is the best zombie to ever grace the silver screen. If you have never seen Day Of The Dead well, shame on you. Netflix that shit and enjoy the coolest zombie ever.
Bub IN ACTION
Bub we at Nerdbastards.com salute you! Just please don’t shoot us. If you don’t, we’ll give you brains…We promise.