Come one, come all to King Richards Faire, which is set in an 80 acre forest in Carver, MA and has been around since 1981. Every year the forest is magically transformed into a 16th century village straight out of the Renaissance times. There are multiple shows to see such as The Vampire Musical Bite Me, The Tortuga Twins and their Mischiefmaking Tomfoolery, The Sturdy Beggars The Mud Show, as well as Fire Dancing, Torture Show, Puppet Theatre, Human Chess Game and so much more! There are games to play such as Archery, Axe/Knife Throw, Dastardly Darts, Giant Striker, Crossbows and many more! For the 2009 year the Faire is open from September 5-October 25; Saturdays and Sundays including Labor Day and Columbus Day Mondays from 10:30am-6:00pm. Faire Ticket Prices are: Adults $26, Children 5-1lyrs $15, and Children 4yrs & under FREE. The Nerdbastards crew got a chance to attend the Faire this year and this is what they had to say about it:
Zach Says: The King Richard’s Faire has grown leaps and bounds since 1992. That was when a starry eyed 12 year old, left the golden, powdery, dirt parking lot of 20th century Carver Massachusetts, and time traveled back to the days of grace…Grace, and absolute tongue in cheek humor that blew so far over my head, I didn’t understand it until a wee bit later in life. Some aspects of the fair have not budged since those days; the jousting field, the castle of torture devices, and the original blacksmith. Some things have gotten more a little more PC, such as the dunking well, where anyone could put a buck in the cleavage of a fair maiden, and then shove her in a well (now a huge plant pot). To the pictures you could take, bottle feeding a baby tiger (now, a reasonable liability to the owners, lol). There are so many things to do at the fair, even if you get there at opening and stay till closing, you may not see it all. If you plan on going, checking things out casually, standing and chatting, eating, and walking aimlessly, you WILL miss it all. There are shows being put on by the cast with an aspect of traveling gypsies, walking from stage to stage and mingling with the crowd along the trail. Along with a yearly evolving storyline and wondrous new stores, you can’t not find something to pique your tastes. If you don’t follow the High Court around for the day, you can lose yourself in the numerous side shows like Garbanzo and his “Mostly flaming ball of Death!” to the “Tale of the Tiger Show” displaying amazing live tigers and even the elusive and rare Liger, no joke (bred for skills in magic). You can sip a glass of mead or a cold and frosty ale, while tearing into a big ole’ drumstick or bowl of chowder in a bread bowl. The stores vary widely from several stores of jewelry and period piece clothing, to numerous sword stands, armor smiths and gorgeous, glossed, molded leather masquerade masks, ala’ Kane from WWE. Although it doesn’t stop me, ever, things are a tad on the pricey side, especially the food, so bring a bunch of cash or cards, using the “ye’ old credit card swipers”. Some things are gone now that I loved and looked forward to every year, like the huge and actually impressive robotic/puppet Dragon that was involved in the joust. To the massive “incense and oils” shop, this is still there, but changed in its quality and content…and location. See? The King Richard’s Fair is ripe and falling off the trees with the entertaining fruits of renaissance gallantness. If you can make it twice in a season, that’s the best game plan, to see everything and absorb it. Take care walking through that threshold and back in time….Once your feet hit that ground, there’s no telling where it will take you, or when you will return home.
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  Adam  Says: After an hour ride dominated by Journey and Toto, we had arrived at King Richard’s Faire. The entrance looked like it was some chintzy, rinky-dink little kid place, which made me wonder why there were so many older people almost rushing their way in, and we soon found out why. We entered the establishment and was instantly bombarded by bad-assedry. Tons of shops, tons of jugs tsunami’ing out of tight bodices, tons of food, and tons of LEGENDARY fupa’s were all in effect here. There was no shortage of intense mullets really pushing it to the limit as well. Walking around you notice a lot of happy people, dressed up in whatever they thought is time appropriate attire, just having a great time. Everyone of the staff that we had interacted with was downright friendly and awesome. The charismatic King Richard was no different and definitely showed why he was King. After the great food (fucking giant turkey legs!), yards of beer, and great shows, I am now obsessed with the place. I plan on going there many, many times again… and that is just next year alone. Now I need to go find a sweet cloak, some armor to fit my huge-self, and a giant sword to prepare for next year… I HAD A FANTASTIC TIME!

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 Luke Says: The sites and sounds are really a sight to behold and I would not recommend embarking on this on any form of hallucinogenic drug. Unless you want to die. Then go for it.
If you love getting dressed up here’s a place where you can do this with other like minded people, who will stare at your codpiece or corseted bosom, not with shock, revulsion or intolerance, but with awe and admiration, for the most part. Eat a giant smoked turkey leg. Drink Killian’s Red from a plastic yard (actually 15″) of ale and throw steel two-headed axes at a wood wall (The sound and the splintering of wood is soooooo satisfying).
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 (Luke rips into a turkey leg)
Chris Says: So I’ve been a geek for my whole life and every year something comes up that prevents me from attending the King Richards Faire. This year however I attended the King Richards Faire the first week in October with the most of the Nerdbastards crew as well the contest winner Margaret Pangburn. It was a time I won’t soon forget. Filled with geeks of all genres and perfectly staffed with actors setting a medieval scene so good I felt like an asshole for never having experienced it before in my 28 years. I will never miss another fair and will probably attend multiple times a year from now on. If there is something stopping you or some reason you don’t think it will be worth attending understand that you are wrong or that the thing stopping you is pale in comparison to the beauty and magic of The King Richards Faire. I interviewed the King and got to spend a few minutes talking to him off camera to which it came up that there was a tattoo contest and that mine would be no contest to win. “Dick” insisted that I enter, got me a form and entered me into the contest to which I did not win although I got a standing ovation from 200 people whom loved my tattoo and showed with a round of applause and cheering. It was a reminder that I’m not even close to alone in my geekiness and that there are plenty of places to not only fit in but be loved by many for just being me, King Richards Faire is one of those places.
(Chris interviews King Richard) Note: We apologize for the sound quality but if you can stick it out King Dick has some funny responses to some random questions
 Crystal Says: Nerds, rejoice! 28 years ago, King Richard bestowed upon us his Faire, and every year since it has been a legend. The Faire really has something for everyone. There are games of skill, yards of ale, laughably huge (and delicious) turkey legs, and lots of corseted cleavage busting out all over the place. Jousts? Faire’s got ’em. Ligers? Faire’s got ’em. Men in tights? Faire’s got ’em. A weapons stand called *La Forge*? Faire’s got it. Unfortunately, LaVar Burton doesn’t work behind the counter… but it’s still pretty amazing. King Richard himself, who has been in the Faire for 16 years, is both brilliant and extremely quick-witted. He took everything these Bastards could throw at him and kept us on our toes better than we could have expected. Ol’ Dick was extremely personable and happily took photos with all of his adoring subjects. His attitude reflected that of the rest of the cast and staff. I am serious when I say that everyone we dealt with was an absolute pleasure, and I have something nasty to say about damn near everything. If you haven’t been, you are truly missing out.
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 (Chris and Crystal hanging out in the gallows)

So next time Fall rolls around, take the ride to Carver and check out the Faire. Wear your most creative costume and be prepared to have the time of your life. There is fun for everyone and we promise you will not be disappointed. And as the motto says: One Day. One Thousand Memories.

A special thank you to King Richards Faire and Linda Walsh for allowing us the opportunity to experience the Faire. We all had a wonderful time and had a memorable experience. We hope to see you all next year!
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Category: Nerd Culture

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