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Spookyworld has joined Nightmare New England to bring you one of the best haunted attractions in the country.  You’ll find it in the middle of nowhere, in Litchfield, NH.  You park in what can only be described as a run-down cornfield.  It’s not a bad walk to the park, but it’s easy to get lost on your way back, so if you’ve got an iPhone, the “take me to my car” application is definitely not wasted here.

Last year, Nightmare New England had four haunted houses.  This year, there are seven.  Raven’s Claw was an outdoor, through-the-woods romp with a truly entertaining cast that played into all of our demented comments.  The 3D Freakshow was a fan favorite, not very scary, but pretty cool.  The floor appeared to be floating around your ankles and the exit was a ridiculous “vortex tunnel” that makes you want to both puke and jump up and down with glee.  Buried Alive was a claustrophobe’s nightmare, forcing you to crouch down and crawl through a tunnel, and then push your way through a long hallway with collapsed walls.  When you reach the other side you feel like a baby escaping the birth canal, only significantly less yucky.    The houses were all fun, each with it’s own charm.  Some of the actors were better than others, but all in all a good cast with decent makeup and effects.

 

 

Despite their popularity, there’s so much more to see than just the walk-throughs. There’s zombie paintball, where guys in a makeshift cemetery stalk towards you as you pelt them with a real paintball gun.  There’s mini-golf, which is significantly harder and less haunted than I expected, but still a lot of fun (and you have your choice of two courses).  There’s even batting cages and go-karts.  Mr. Chris is the pessimist, insisting that he did not want to ride the go-karts because he can drive a real car, but most of us don’t need to be told that it’s just damn fun.  Away from most of the other attractions were carnival games, corn dogs, fried dough and a live band, The Dead and the Damned, who played appropriately themed metal covers.  Next to all the yummy goodness is a tent with some tables to eat and a bonfire to warm your piggies while you down a jello shot.  Yeah, jello shot.  Amazing, right?  They also had beer and hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps.  I have to hand it to them, they know their shit.  The only thing better than a haunted house is a haunted house while buzzed.  You will literally crap your pants (or maybe that was the corn dog…)  I would recommend not drinking too much though, because the lines to the commode are often quite long.

 

A word of caution:
If you’ve got the cash to spare, go for the VIP tickets, especially now at the end of the season when it’s crazy busy every night.  The lines can get pretty long and treacherous, and it’s kind of a bummer to wait in long lines out in the cold for a 3 minute attraction.  The VIP passes let you get in almost immediately to all of the walk-throughs, and even if you have to wait, it’s never more than a couple of minutes.  With the VIP pass you also get unlimited access to the mini-golf courses, the go-karts, and the batting cages.  So if you’re traveling far to get there as most of us are, and planning on being there for several hours, you will definitely get the most out of it with the VIP pass.

 

 

See Mr. Chris interview Mike (the owner), The Dead and the Damned, and some other random people.

 

 

Luke, Mr. Chris and I had a great time and we want to give a special shout out to Mike “Tattoo” Krausert and the lovely Anne for being so gracious and accomodating.

You can purchase tickets to Spookyworld/Nightmare New England here.

Category: Nerd Culture

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