Only Assholes Like Jhonen Vasquez

   Jhonen Vasquez is a brilliant artist with a dark sense of humor.  He is best known for the comics JTHM (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac) and Squee!, and as the creator of the tv series Invader Zim.  In my early teens I discovered JTHM, and thought it was sheer brilliance.  I loved the public service annoucements.  I loved Wobbly-Headed Bob.  I loved Squee!, and read his series.  I even bought I Feel Sick and scoured the internet in search of The Bad Art Collection.  When Invader Zim premiered in 2001, a little part of me died (in a good way).  I quoted “I have a MIGHTY NEED to use the restroom once again!” for years.  As the time passed I soon realized that the humor in the comics was not as great as I had perceived in my younger years, but I still had a soft spot for Jhonen.  He represented a time in my life when everything else seemed bleak and crappy and I retreated into the world of comic books and graphic novels and Anne Rice vampires (Team Lestat FTW!)  Because of this, I even introduced Jhonen’s works to my little brothers, thinking maybe they too could commiserate with Nny the way I had at their age.

   But then something terrible happened.  I started to notice that only assholes like Jhonen Vasquez.  Fat girls who buy clothes exclusively from Hot Topic in a size smaller than they actually need started carrying around messenger bags with Gir on them.  Juggalo douchebags with Psychopathic Records bling chains started wearing JTHM hoodies.  Skinny crackhead girls started putting Invader Zim zipper pulls on their oversized shoplifting purses.  After a few years of this abuse, it got even worse.  Jhonen started collaborating with Mindless Self Indulgence.  MSI, if you’ve never heard them, sound like someone is drowning a bag of kittens.  They are oversized teenagers with an obsessive and mostly retarded fan base.  Whoever listens to them and is not retarded is either tone deaf or a 12 year old girl who doesn’t know any better and assumes it is the only alternative to the smegma MTV’s dick shakes at them. 

   I have started pretending that I’m too old or too sheltered to know what JTHM or Invader Zim are, because I’m afraid of being lumped in with the fupa-weilding klepto Juggalos.  I would rather be caught crop-dusting at a Little People of America meeting than be caught with any Jhonen merch.  It’s a crying shame that Jhonen attracts assholes, and an even bigger shame that he lowered himself from stupid humor (which is still respectable) to Mindless Self Indulgence (which is just sad).  A plague on both your houses!


Category: Comics, TV

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