Grab yourself a Mountain Dew, take a piss while your up, come back and plant your butt down. When you get all nice and settled we’d like you to behold nerdbastards list of the Most Iconic Movie Weapons! We’ve kept this list isolated to hand-held weapons because fictional WMD’s would be a whole other list entirely. We are pretty confident that we have listed every noteworthy gun, sharp object and everything in between. The list is in no particular order but it is a definitive layout of the most recognizable weapons in cinematic history. Our thought process here was nothing special, in fact it was simple. If you had to struggle to think about a weapon then it shouldn’t be considered to be in the pantheon of most memorable.
Will you agree with our choices? Maybe. Will you be up at arms with what we didn’t list? We‘re expecting pitch forks and torches. Even if you don’t agree with us and think our list is complete shit we’ve included a few fun facts to ensure that you will have walked away with a modicum of enjoyment.
Lightsaber (Star Wars) Let’s just get this out the way shall we. A meter-long column of light emanating from a metal hilt, able to cut through virtually any material, and leave cauterized wounds in flesh. Ya, pretty much the most amazing fictional weapon ever. You happy?
Did you know: ‘Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side’?
Red Ryder B.B. Gun ( A Christmas Story) I know this is a bit of a stretch, but considering how central this weapon is to the story, it should be on the list. Not to mention if you ever had a B.B. gun it was because of this movie.
Did you know: Ralphie says he wants the Red Ryder BB Gun 28 times throughout the course of the movie. That’s approximately once every three minutes and 20 seconds
Freddy Kruegers Glove (Nightmare on Elm Street) Before you were duct taping meat skewers to your hand to live out your Wolverine fantasies you were probably making your own Freddy glove. Don’t deny it – we all tried stuffing kitchen cutlery down whatever glove we could find. Of course it was always a shame to see the cheap, loser kids who only had access to mittens and plastic sporks.
Did you know: In New Nightmare Freddy’s claw was depicted closer to what Wes Craven had intended for the original film with it’s organic like style?
Proton Pack (Ghostbusters) Although it’s only attributed to snaring ghosts and toasting the occasional marshmallow this really isn’t a weapon of death. However, if you cross the streams it would be bad. How bad? ‘Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.’ So in other words, you’re fucked!
Did you know: The proton packs’ particle throwers were originally to be portrayed as wands worn on each arm?
Macleod’s Dragon Katana (Highlander) The Highlander sword has to be one of the most recognizable (and popular) movie swords on the replica market. It’s undecided if it’s popularity stems from the swords overall look, which is bad-ass or if it’s because of Sean Connery’s swagger in the first Highlander movie. I’m inclined to think the latter.
Did you know: The only officially licensed Highlander replica swords are manufactured by United Cutlery
.44 Magnum (Dirty Harry) The .44 Magnum will forever be synonymous with Dirty Harry. Ya’ll know the quote so I’m not even going to bother. The gun had balls and so did Clint Eastwood. Nuff said!
Did you know: Although described by Clint Eastwood as being the most powerful gun in the world it only held that record for four years.
Conan’s Atlantean Sword (Conan The Barbarian) “The secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts”- Conan’s Father
Did you know: Arnold Schwarzenegger still has the Conan Sword? It sits behind his desk in the California Governor office? Twitter Pic
Indy’s Bullwhip (Indiana Jones) Used for pulling levers, swinging over chasms, or simply smacking a Nazi across the cheek. It’s pretty much the most versatile weapon ever.
Did you know: Over thirty whips were supplied for the films, ranging from 6 feet to 16 feet. The most commonly used whip in the film was the 10 foot one, with the others being used for stunts.
Tony Montana’s Machine Gun (Scar Face) I didn’t want to include this on the list because the machine gun really wasn’t anything special, just a machine gun (badass machine gun mind you). However, the scene where Al Pacino says “Say Hello To My Little Friend”, referring to the machine gun is about as badass as it is annoying. Ya, a larger than life Mafioso going out in a machine gun blaze of glory is pretty epic but that does not give it the right ruin ones mall shopping experience. You can’t go shopping anywhere without running into some art print of this prominent scene. Not to mention every asshole who feels the need say the movie line when holding some big gun like instrument or something phallic.(Fags)
Did you know: It’s not actually a machine gun but actually a M16A1 assault rifle with an M203 under barrel grenade launcher?
Glaive (Krull) Besides laughing at an early Liam Neeson the only reason to watch this cheesy sci-fi/action flick is drool over the awesomeness of the star shaped Frisbee of death. There are some pretty awesome replicas out there but none, that I know of, that can be remote controlled by ones mind.
Did you know: Robot Chicken spoofed the scene in which Prince Cowlyn’s retrieves the magical weapon? You can watch it here. By show of hands how many of you forgot Liam Nesson was in this?
Bowler Hat (Goldfinger) Though Odd Job couldn’t speak, couldn’t shoot a gun, or know any martial arts of any kind he sure did know how to throw a mean Bowler hat.(Perfect Henchmen in my opinion) Imagine the sheer agony of a steel rimmed hat against the thin layers of skin on the skull – the open sores created must hurt like a bitch when sweat drips from your forehead.
Did you know: Mythbusters actually tested the lethal-ness of a precision thrown Bowler hat? Though it would hurt a lot to be hit by one, decapitation is not possible.
Rambo‘s Survival Knife (First Blood) The original don’t fuck with me knife. The unique design was an instant hit with knife enthusiasts and the “Survival Knife” was born.
Did you know: That in the 1972 published First Blood book Rambo didn’t have a knife and died in the story?
Ash’s Chain Saw and Shot Gun (Evil Dead). This fucker has not one but two of the most iconic weapons in movie history. (Actually 3 if you want to include his mechanical gauntlet) Honestly, is there any better way to fighting of deadites than by sawing off your hand and replacing your stubby appendage with a fucking chainsaw? Well actually there is, a sawed off double barrel, 12 gauge shot gun (a.k.a. Boom Stick) that consistently fires more than what was loaded does wonders against the armies of darkness. I may have over done the movie quotes today but “Hail to the king baby”.
Did you know: In Army of Darkness Ash seems to lose possession of both his chainsaw and shotgun as he is not seen to be carrying the chainsaw after dismembering Bad Ash and is not seen with his shotgun after crashing the Deathcoaster
Category: Film, Nerd Culture