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If You Must Wed, At Least Be Nerdlywed

spidermanwedding

Weddings – who needs ’em? You sit around eating cheap chicken dinners while feeling sorry for the douchebags who are begging the DJ to play the “Electric Slide” yet again. And if it’s your wedding, then you should feel kind of bad for subjecting people to that junk just because it’s “your special day.”

That is, unless you do it up right. Unless you do it up nerdy. Unless you get out your lightsaber to slice apart that dead tauntaun cake. Below, check out three photos of folks who geeked out their ball-and-chain affairs… and one cake that will make you roll your eyes.

The Force is with them.

The Force is with them.

It’s only proper that we start with Star Wars… proper, because that’s the only way anyone would get me to walk down that aisle. The best nerd weddings are the ones where everyone participates, and it’s pretty clear to me that the good folks in this photo appreciate the Holy Trilogy (and subsequent tomfoolery).

Insert witty Star Trek caption here!

Insert witty Star Trek caption here!

Look, the Trekkies like to have fun too! I really love the variety in the costumes, except… Ok, I’ll admit I’m not a huge Star Trek fan, but I have to ask — is the woman in the black and white wrap dress on the left in costume? I’m guessing no, but being a Trek n00b, I thought there’s a chance she could be some normal human whatever from the series. Anyone?

These two aim to misbehave.

These two aim to misbehave.

Ok, who was ready for Mal and Inara to get it on already? *raises hand* Well now your dream has come true! This fine couple had a lovely Firefly wedding complete with some Jedi. Wait, what? Oh, who cares? It’s still cool.

So those were all awesome, right? Those are credible nerd themes that most people would approve of or at least appreciate. Now for something that smacks of existing for being on-trend only, I present… the Twilight cake:

This cake lacks sparkles.

This cake lacks sparkles.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s a beautiful cake, and I’m sure it’s delicious. I just don’t get it. Why are people having Twilight weddings? Would the groom dress up as an old-guy vamp who broods and the bride be a teenage virgin who lusts for stone cock? Would guests get to witness the absurd birth of the half-vamp baby who goes on to be lust friends with the werewolf?

Yes, I realize this sounds hypocritical, considering I wahooed over the other three wedding themes, but those are solid picks based upon universally beloved stories! Twilight is a flash in the pan, and a Twilight wedding just feels like… prom. But with more sparkles.

Category: Nerd Culture

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