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Now that we are well within the information age and the Internet rules our life, computers have managed to place themselves at the top of the food chain.  I mean think about it, we are so dependent on the Internet if it turned off tomorrow panic, chaos, and death would ensue. Filmmakers have tried to warn us with their art but, unfortunately we were too busy changing our status on Facebook to listen.  Here are the top 10 Evil Computers that not only tried to take over the world but, they also make you have to think…When the hell is this going to happen in real life?

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10 . LAWNMOWER MAN

Let’s forget the fact that this movie had little, if anything to do with the Stephen King story and we’ll look at the Virtual Reality this movie created.  Jobe Smith is mentally challenged and all he knows in mowing lawns.  That is, until Dr. Angelo tries to make him smarter with the use of VR.  What we end up with is a super genous that gets sucked into the computer and wants to take over the world.  This happens to be one of those movies that is so bad it’s good.  It was close to the end of the long line of bad movies Pierce Brosnan put out before he went Bond. Virtual Reality killer though….It could happen, right?

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9. BRAINSCAN

Oh Eddie Furlong, remember when you were cool?  What happened?  Brainscan is a little under the radar movie that some of you might not have heard of.  If you haven’t well, netflix it! Eddie Furlong is a nerdy computer gamer.  We like nerdy gamers!  He loves horror games and he’s played them all.  Well until he plays Brainscan.  The game turns him into a virtual serial killer but, when the people he is killing in the game turn up dead in real life, things get serious.  Yeah I said it, a video game serial killer!

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8. TRON

Okay seriously, what the fuck is Tron?  I’ve seen it I follow the story but, I still don’t know what it is.  Part video game, part military simulator, part world dominator, all awesome! If we got taken over by Tron I’d be all right with it if I got to wear the cool suit!

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7. VIRTUOSITY

Virtuosity is one of those movies that make you wonder.  Is this shit ever going to be possible?  Russell Crow plays Sid 6.7 a piece of computer software that just loves to kill people.  Police officers use him as a training program to help them better understand the mind of a killer. When he ends up getting out of the computer and into the real world(don’t ask me to explain it, just watch the movie) someone has to stop him.  Yep, that’s right Denzel is on the job! He has dreadlocks too!

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6. DR. STRANGELOVE

Don’t ask me to explain this movie, it’s a Kubrick film need I say more.  A Doomsday device that will kill everything on Earth?  What’s that you say, you can’t turn it off?  What are we going to do?  Ahhh smoke a lot of pot and try to figure out what it all really means.

 

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5. WARGAMES

How about a nice game of Thermo-nuclear War? No? Well too bad that’s what Joshua want’s to play! Hey, you gotta hand it to the nerd that manages to almost start WW3 with a DIAL UP connection!

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4. I ROBOT

Yeah it’s a remake and yeah it doesn’t hold a flame to the book or the original film, but it does have something…a shitload of cool CG robots that start some serious shit! By the end just when you thought all the robots were evil, you realize it was all just a computer calling all the shots!

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3. THE MATRIX

Can your computer do Kung Fu? I didn’t think so! Although the Matrix rips off pretty much every movie under the sun it did so with a lot of originality. Wait, what? A rip off movie that’s original?  How the fuck did they do that?  Their the Wachowski’s they can do anything! That includes becoming a cross dresser.  I have one question.  Okay, so the program is the Matrix but, what is the name of the computer running it? I’ll bet it’s a HP those things are wicked evil! Go have a cookie and forget what I just said.

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2. TERMINATOR

T101, T1000, Hunter Killers…You name another Computer that was able to build anything even close to these bad ass machines.  Skynet did it!  Skynet sent a Robot back in time.  I cant even get my laptop to load youtube sometimes!

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1. 2001 A SPACE ODDYSEY

Stop smoking pot this  movie doesn’t make sense and pot isn’t going to help you figure it out. Did they scientifically get into heaven…Wait was he reborn? What’s up with the white room?  Fuck this movie I don’t get it.  Okay, rewind it we’ll watch it again. Pass me the bong.  This is number one because hands down Hal is the most evil computer that has ever been.  You want to know why? Because he is just a computer. No more, no less. He doesn’t want to rule the world, he isn’t bad, he is simply just doing his job.  That’s what is so creepy about it. Plus his voice still creeps me out to this day.

Category: Film, Nerd Culture

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