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Pervy: 10 Ways You People Arrive at Nerdbastards

From offthemarkcartoons.com

From offthemarkcartoons.com

You, dear readers, are crazy. No, seriously. You search for batshit-insane things and somehow decide that heading to Nerdbastards instead a poop-porn site is the best course of action. I have a dirty mind, but goodness, you guys frighten me.

I’ve been wanting to tell you that for quite some time, actually. Day after day, I look at the blog stats and wonder, “What’s your damage, Heather?” You’re curious now, aren’t you? You’re wondering if someone out there is searching for something even more pervy than what’s in your head. Well, take a gander at 10 search phrases that bring you nerdlings to our site.

(Note: these aren’t necessarily the most-searched or in any order.)

  • mullet
  • elf sex
  • Neytiri hot/nude/sex/body
  • the devil in Marge Simpson/Marge Simpson porn
  • Alina Puscau Playboy
  • triforce
  • Vanessa Hudgens pictures/naked/body/scandal
  • Brad Pitt (What’s up with this? – AB)
  • lightsaber
  • skids and mudflap

As you can see, you guys search for imaginary character porn, Disney star porn (the words “porn” and “nude” are very popular in our stats), honest-to-goodness nerd junk, and… Brad Pitt. Seriously, what’s going on there?

Not all of you are horny 14-year-olds, apparently. Looking at the actual list of search phrases (which is much, MUCH longer than what you see here), it appears you still like Marvel, Capcom, MythBusters and Seth Green. So, you know, that’s cool and stuff. And really, the search terms could be worse — I’d hate to see the stats on some of the other sites you visit.

But can I give you some advice? 1) Learn how to spell when you’re searching. 2) Give your hand a rest every once in a while.

So how about it? What led you here to Nerdbastards? Were you searching for something else first? Or did you hear glorious angel music and feel a calling to see if a brilliantly named Nerdbastards site existed? Tell us in the comments.

UPDATE: Our fearless leader just alerted me that you guys apparently also arrive at Nerdbastards via a search for “retards masturbating.” Sigh. I weep for our readership.

Category: WTF?

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