Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and although I hate to participate in promoting a Hallmark holiday, I do think nerds need good romantic gifts. So whether you keep these ideas around for a rainy day or if you want to wow your crush for Valentine’s Day, here goes:
1. Mixed Tape USB — Remember the giddy romance of handing over that mixed tape to your junior high crush? The songs carefully crafted with suggestive titles and songs crammed with personalized references to little details you hoped he or she would pick up on….aaaaaaaah the sweet gesture of a casual — “hey, I made you a mixed tape…” I still have a shoe box with terribly worn out cassettes from yesteryear. But alas, there is a way to bring the retromantic mixed tape back! Not only that, but now you can fit up to 100 mp3s onto your masterpiece! Only $18 here.
2. Home Planetarium — for the star-gazers in the crowd. I bet you can pry your Valentine’s nose out of a book by turning the lights down low and projecting the night sky onto the ceiling. Go grab your Star Wars sleeping bags and curl up with your nerd and watch the constellations fly!
3. Giant Star Wars PEZ dispensers! Twelve inches, because size matters even to NERDS! These over-sized PEZ dispensers play real Star Wars music, Hell yeah! You can give your nerd one for every holiday until they’ve got them all: C-3PO, Chewbacca, Clone Trooper, Darth Vader, Death Star, Emperor Palpatine, General Grievous, R2-D2 and Yoda. How dorkily awesome is that?
4. This one is easy, free and pretty simple: Hug a nerd. Nerds are often under-hugged….I mean think about it. Nerds often interact via the internet, sit in rooms alone playing video games, making plans to take over the world and whatever else they’re doing in those dark buzzing rooms. See what I mean? Not much hug-getting is going on for a whole lotta nerds out there. So if you want to give the gift that a nerd will find truly unusual, human contact will do the trick!
5. For the nerd who likes something useful, why not combine digital technology with the engineering genius of the Swiss Army knife? Now while your nerd whittles away his or her time browsing the web for the best deals on video games, they can literally whittle! Dang!
6. You will never convince me that nerds play with their balls any less than their non-nerd counterparts. So here’s a wonderful way to tell your nerd you love them enough to encourage said playing with of balls. Also, its wicked cool to have RARE EARTH magnets. So…your nerd should get on board anyway. Why? well, besides the whole rare earth power thing, this is an insanely addictive time-waster. Nerds love that.
7. So after you’ve set your USB casette to “play” and dinner hits the table, what next to wow your nerd Valentine? I live for those rare moments when my nerd Valentine has that look of “oooooooh, I didn’t see THAT coming!” Since my Valentine will be reading this before I have the chance to try it out, let me know what happens when you pop open the wine and the cork is also…..dun Dun DUN: a thumb drive!!!! Seriously great. Wine. Technology. My two greatest inanimate loves.
8. Er, ummmmm, I almost hesitate to suggest this, but why not just use some body paint? You really don’t have to commit to the tattoo, but if you REALLY want to, well….that’s on you. If you go for this option, you are excused from all the other stuff. It will be lost on your saucer-eyed nerd.
9. Trying to make new little nerds, but can’t seem to INTERFACE with your nerd? Here’s a little HINT HINT jump drive. You can only hope that your nerd will pick up on the underlying message.
10. You win all nerd contests if you pry this cloak from this guy. Hands-down you’re getting so much nerd action if you present this to your nerd. You may be scarred from fighting the owner of this amazing nerd cloak…because I bet he also has Freddy Kruger’s actual blade hands and um, lots of other really violent stuff.
Category: Nerd Culture