Clash of the Titans Review

04-03-10 • Featured, Film, reviews Posted by Zach Lawrence

clash-of-the-titans-2010-20091211065924947_640w-300x231

I don’t have much to say about “Clash of the Titans”. By the gods, They took a simplistic movie like the original and Fuster Clucked it into what this new version is. First of all though, you need to know that this movie has nothing to do with the accurate mythology of the story of Perseus, OR for that matter, the accurate mythology of the original film. With stunning CG and a great job of acting by Sam Worthington you’d expect a good ol’ fashion action movie ala “300″ or even “The Mummy”, right? WRONG!

Crammage is the issue, they crammed everything and more into this 1 hour and 50 minute film with barely, nary or fairly an explanation. You start off with young Perseus being found in his casket lying with his dead mother, floating on the waves, by a family of fisherman. Later in life when Perseus is a young man they are off the coast of the city Argos, when the people there destroy their statue of liberty, Zeus. For retribution, Zeus sends Hades to as a swarm of Harpies to take vengeance and Perseus’s family dies in the onslaught.

Zeus is upset because the people are not praying and being thankful, they are blaming him for everything, so for their disrespect Hades convinces him that if they don’t sacrifice the hot ass Andromeda to the Kraken that in 10 days the city will be leveled. This is all a plot of Hades, that while Zeus gets his power from their worship and Hades gets his power from the people’s fear. So the people do get afraid. They get so afraid they want to throw Andromeda right into the sea, and the Kraken being the source of all Hades power would be sated.

So Perseus almost with no explanation, gathers a troop of soldiers to save Andromeda but more for revenge against Hades. Calobus, the man-monster from the original i sent to thwart them from Hades with almost no explanation as well, and Perseus being the son of Zeus comes up half God but wants to this all “As a man”.

What I find so maddening is the plot cues that will lead to the next scene. ” How can I kill the Kraken?” Perseus asks. “The Stigeon witches!” Someone pipes in. “OK lets go!!” This remake overdoes EVERY aspect of it’s predecessor. So you have a black Pegasus, Scorpions the size of monster trucks, Medusa’s lair that looks like it’s in an active volcano and the Kraken which looks like Godzilla from the terrible 1998 movie.

Some of the redeeming moments in the film are Perseus’s badass sword of the gods (Hoping to be a replica soon!!!”). The amazing CG of Medusa, not nearly as terrifyingly petrifying as the original (no pun intended”). The herd of flying Pegasi and how realistic they looked. And a very clever throwback joke to the original with one robotic owl….

I wanted SO MUCH from this movie and was left unsatisfied. Worthington aside, this film lacked any soul or feeling. It seemed to me that the studios just want to flex their green screen CG muscles and think what else they can cram into such a short epic.

*************BULLET POINT COMPARISONS********1981 TO 2010*************SOME SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT**********

~When found in the water floating with his mother, it was the Kings daughter who Zeus impregnated, not his wife.

~Calobus was a gorgeus guy set to wed Andromeda, but was struck down as a monster for killing Zeus’s Pegasus.

~The First scene in the 81 version was the Kraken destroying the city of Argo’s for throwing Perseus and the daughter into the sea.

~Andromeda is compared to the beauty of the goddess Thetis, in the new version it is Aphrodite.

~The gifts given to Perseus by Zeus were a Helm of Invisibility, A shield and a sword that can cut through anything.

~The Scorpions come from blood from the head of Medusa not Calobus and are the size of Mini cooper.

~Hades has no appearance in the original.

~Perseus does all this to save Andromeda because he is in love with her and wants to marry her.

~Poseidon is the master of the Kraken, not Hades.

~There is no mention that the Kraken was the Titan to kill all the other Titans.

~There is so many more that off the top of my head I can’ t name them all.