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Never Coming To A Movie Theater Near You..

500x_avpflat_01WAIT! These are FAKE! There’s no reason to commit suicide just yet.. These humorous movie posters contain everything that would bring upon the apocalypse. There would be massive riots in the streets. The world would turn to anarchy and your mom would die! So be sure to thank whatever guy in the sky you like, because he stopped this shit and be glad he did! I actually LOL’d at most of these. And I lied before.. Not all of these are bad. I would let a rabid giraffe bite my penis off if they made an Indiana Jones movie in which that plot intertwined with Star Wars’ plot. And I’m not talking about some fanboy rendition in which i get an email one day with a link to the movie and then some creepy guy wanting to go to the zoo so i can “fulfill my promise”.. Harrison Ford would have to be Indiana Jones. That’s Final.. But damn, just think about Indiana Jones wielding a light-saber. Oh, and the Dirty Harry Potter poster.. That was quite silly, with the expected quip “Do you feel magical, punk?” But the rest of these are pretty bad. Tom Cruise in The Sorority Report.. *blows face off* The only part that might have been good in that fictional movie is the audience might have gotten to see boob.. Hell, I’ll even take side or under boob.. I love Boobies! But Worse than that, is Beverly Hills RoboCop. I could not, for the life of me, sit through Beverly Hills Cop again.. Not even if my life depended on it. An eternity of nothingness, no conscious thought, just nonexistence is more appealing than an hour and a half or so of that movie. But even more appealing than ceasing to exist would be seeing Jennifer Garner hunted and eventually skinned by a predator. I believe that would actually bring a little joy to my life, Alias was a stupid show anyway. And of course of Star Wars fan, including myself, would flock to see Saving Admiral Ackbar.. It’s an unfortunate truth that even in the face of certain “Floppage” (I’m having to use this imaginary word, because I’m to lazy to try and find a better suited term) fans would come by the thousands and also go see the movie. HAHA. See what I did there? Well enjoy the rest of these posters, and enjoy even more that they’re not real. Check out a shit ton more after the jump.

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Category: Film, WTF?

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