Amityville Horror House For Sale!

If any of you have ever wanted to be murdered in your sleep, then boy oh boy, this is the house for you! Made infamous by Ronald DeFeos’ mental breakdown in which he murdered his 6 family members one night in 1974. The realtor had this to say:

A beautiful 1927 colonial-style waterfront home with 5 bedrooms, 3 and a half baths, and a ton of history behind it in Long Island can be yours for as little as $1,150,000. The home has had many owners, some more notorious than others.”

WTF, NO I will not buy your demon house! This realtor is a sneaky fucker… “as little as $1,150,000” what crack is he/she smoking, and where can I get some? I’m not spending a million dollars just to be scared out of my mind. I could just as easily exchange $5 for unprotected sex with a South American prostitute and be just as worried. But, the realtor wasn’t as sneaky as I once had you believe. Including this underneath the previous passage.

The home gained its notoriety when Ronald DeFeos killed six family members while they were sleeping in 1974 and subsequent owners George and Kathleen Lutz claimed to be haunted for 28 days, which were detailed in the book “The Amityville Horror” (on the cover: “This book will scare the hell out of you”—Kansas City Star). However, James Cromarty, who lived in the house after the Lutzes were foreclosed upon, “Nothing weird ever happened, except for people coming by because of the book and the movie.

He forgot to include Satan jerking it in his bathroom, because this house is EVIL. That should display the house’s sheer and unending damnation of your soul. JK, but don’t buy this house! It’s a fixer upper… Enjoy!


Category: WTF?