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Playing violent video games have created many sociopaths, or at least that’s what Hillary Clinton would have you believe.. Bitch. Anyway, such video games are a great outlet for pent up anger and frustration. Curb stomping a locust or ripping someone limb from limb in Prototype, take your pick because I guarantee it will lessen your bad mood. This is a top 9 list and that’s it. “Why not 10?” Because I’m fucking working my ass off. Why not 8?! I’m sorry, I get emotional..  This list will, hopefully, open your eyes to some of the greatest brutal weapons in video games and maybe even turn you on… What? Don’t be gay.. *Rubs ice cube on nipple* Well, enjoy. You sadistic nerdy bastards!

9.)The Golden Gun

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007 Goldeneye was a classic installment in video game history and paved the way for many of our awesome first-person shooters. The golden gun was a weapon that would kill any foe with a single shot no matter where you hit them. A simple one shot kill everytime, unless you sucked. Even though some people might think this is a cheap gun, but it’s made of solid gold so I’m sure it costs a shit ton.. jk. Cheap meaning too easy for it to require skill, and in a way it is, BUT the golden gun’s abilities are far too awesome for it not to make this list.

8.) Rivet gun

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You can now screw your enemies, literally. Actually it shoots rivets, which are basically just bolts, so you would just be bolting them and that doesn’t sound sexual..So I’m sorry. Regardless this gun would fuck up anyone’s day. With 3 different possible ammunitions this gun’s sure to aid you in whatever destruction you plan to create.

  • Rivet – Base ammunition for the Rivet Gun, Rivets do a moderate amount of piercing damage.
  • Trap Rivet – Trap Rivets do a moderate amount of piercing damage. When fired, they will embed in objects and shoot a secondary rivet when an enemy nears. Use these to set traps for foes. Unused Trap Rivets can be picked up and reused.
  • Heavy Rivet -Heavy Rivets do a moderate amount of armor-piercing damage. Especially deadly with headshots.

Need I say more? I think not.

7.) Halo’s Shotgun

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I will admit right off the bat that it’s easy for any n00b to pick this up and get kills. BUT when put in the hands of an experienced Halo player it’s unstoppable. This is a powerful, deadly weapon that can decimate any opposition you face. A blast to the torso and then a tap of the melee button and whatever poor bastard you’re fighting is done for. This gets number 7 because it lays waste to all when put in the right hands.

6.) Impact Hammer

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Oh goodness, this is brutal. A mining tool that utilizes compressed air to send a dangerous blow to an enemy. As a spawning weapon that doesn’t use ammo it can come quite in handy. You can control how powerful it is by charging it up, the longer the charge the better your chances of delivering near fatal hit. It’s secondary firing ability is an emp that can either destroy vehicles or force opponents to drop their power-ups. And as an added bonus you can launch yourself onto ledges and other high up places by charging it and firing it towards the ground, but this with hurt you. And although it loses, essentially, all of its effectiveness at longer ranges, it can kick some serious ass up close.

5.) Lancer Rifle

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What’s better than a machine gun and a chainsaw? A Lancer Rifle! Which ingeniously cobines the two for pure gutspilling carnage. I don’t even think there’s much left to say.. It has close and medium range on lockdown making this a great weapon to go into urban battle with. Plus it’s nice to have choices, like Wendy’s side choices,  “Do I want to pump this guy full of bullets? Or should cut him in half from shoulder to hip bone?” It doesn’t get much better than that.. This is brutal and will get the job done.

4.) RC-DS Remote Control Disc Ripper

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This is a scary fucking gun in a scary fucking game.. The ripper is a mining tool turned deadly, kill anything in sight weapon in the game Dead Space. I exaggerate it’s power slightly, because it is far away from an instant kill weapon but makes fighting mutant creatures a hell of a good time. It ejects  incredibly sharp diamond-coated tungsten blades at up to 17,000 RPM and holding them in place in front of the gun to cut through anything in its path how can you go wrong? It gets better, The secondary firing function sends one of these blades sailing in a straight line like a sniper shot. It’s pure bloodspilling fun.

3.)HV Penetrator

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The name alone brings sick and twisted thoughts of bending Rosie O’Donnell  over and just…Woah. Got a little excited there. This gun basically does what it’s name says. It penetrates. Firing out 10 mm metal flechettes, which is just a fancy name for spikes that will KILL YOU, at such a high velocity it has the potential to carry human sized targets into a wall and hold them there, suspended. It has crazy good accuracy as well as a medium – long firing range. There’s a reason why the game is called F.E.A.R, and it’s because this gun is in it, not because of that dumb acronym. Just playing, it’s not dumb.

2.) The Fat Man

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Look at Fallout go! Bringing nuclear missile strength to a rocket launcher sized gun. “Say it ain’t so!” Oh, but it is and it will kill your entire family and your extended family! It has an estimated range of 150+ yards and will leave the area radioactive. It doesn’t get anymore brutal than firing a a mini nuke from your shoulder.

1.) BFG 9000

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I have been a long time fan of the Doom series, and that is why this gets the top. The most powerful weapon in one of the most influential shooter games ever created. It fires green plasma orbs that will turn any enemy’s day into an asshole. It can destroy almost every enemy in the game making this weapon purely epic, and a must have for anyone trying to start a spree of destruction and mayhem.

Category: Featured, Videogames

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