6 Questionably Gay He-Man Characters

- 06-07-10Featured, TV Posted by Luke Gallagher

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Ah, He-Man and The Masters of The Universe. A classic 80’s cartoon that’s success was equaled by it’s massive and popular toyline. Sadly, most people think of He-Man ,and all that is associated with it as one big innuendo for homosexuality. Geeze, a main character that walks around in a pink shirt and purple pants who has a fabulous secret and happens to play with his sword a lot. Honestly I dunno where people get the idea that he’s gay. I digress, this list really isn’t about He-man per say, it’s about 6 other characters of the He-manverse that are a little less subtle with their homo-erotic overtones. Please note this is not gay bashing. We at nerdbastards fully support the gay community. We are just pointing out the unsubtle homosexual subtext of the characters….and totally makin’ fun of it.

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Beast Man- Skeletor’s lackey or should I say bitch? Why else would Beast Man stick around and take verbal and physical abuse unless he was getting a good dicking? I also believe that ole fur face here would be referred in the gay community as a bear. According to Wikipedia and not from any personal experince, Bears have hairy bodies and facial hair and tend to be heavy set. Well, I wonder who that describes? It also doesn’t help that Beastie is sporting some serious bondage gear. Chest harness and a whip for those not paying attention.

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Man-At-Arms- Christ, if his name doesn’t incite endless organge armored man hugging then how about that stache? Flavor savor?, I think so.

Being the mentor to Prince Adam you know he taught him how to hold a loft his magic sword (hehe).

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Leech- “Evil Master of Power Suction” Yep, that’s what the tagline on the toys packaging says. Technically he is what his name implies, a leech but one may wonder in a sea of other questionably gay characters what specifically he was sucking. I’d also like to bring awareness to the fact that the Leech action figure can be used as a nipple torture device. Again, not speaking from personal experince.

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Extendar- “Heroic Master of Extension”. Another suggestive packaging tagline. I guess “heroic master of being the envy of every other fur short short wearing warrior” was too long. (hehe see what I did there). This character was hardly ever scene in the cartoon because he was usually off screen using his (ahem) extensions in a manner that was not meant for the eyes of children. Giant metal dong people, giant metal dong.

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Ram Man- The human phallus who’s only job was to Ram things. Sure, he could be ramming the ladies but what ladies man wears a skirt? Seriously, how often do you suppose he gets mud on his helmet?

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Fisto- Not only does this guy look like he should be the poster child for gay San Francisco circa 1969 but if his freaking jumbo sized fist doesn’t imply this guys magnitude for asshole spelunking need I remind you of his name?

Category: Featured, TV

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