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Star Tours 2 Opening Dates Announced

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On May 10th 2011 is when George Lucas will plunge his child hood raping dong (shall we refer to it as his Jar Jar?) into your already bleeding anus. I am of course referring to slated relaunch of the Disney World (and land) Star Wars ride Star Tours.

We’ve mentioned the revamp a few times now but for those that missed it. The beloved but aging Star Tours attraction at both Disney parks is being decommissioned to make way for a new one. The new ride will be similar in concept to the original but will feature a whole new experience with modern technology.

A number of concept images, as well as a video have been released which confirm that the new attraction “will take voyagers — for the first time ever — to Coruscant, as well as other destinations in the Star Wars galaxy.”’ (You can check concept art and video here)

If the previous paragraph was too elusive for you. It means the goddamn Star Wars prequels are going to incorporated into the new experience. Fuck! Not to get into a whole thing but I think it’s agreed that the prequels misinterprets what made the original Star Wars great.

I’m sure this new ride will be a blast but the news of of the original ride being decommissioned for a modern update that includes the prequels just makes me die a little.

Star Tours 2 (or so they call it) will launch:

  • May 10th 2011 in Walt Disneyland in Anaheim (current ride closes on September 8th 2010)
  • May 17th 2011 in Walt Disneyworld in Orlando (current ride closes on July 27th 2010)


Category: WTF?

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