Top Ten Sorely Missed 90’s Cartoons

poltergeistCan you feel the power of Saturday Morning?

The 90’s were a great time in T.V history, especially in cartoon history. Yes the 80’s have the cult classics…the O.G’s of cartoons. 90’s cartoons were edgy, they were aimed not just at children that were easily amused by flashing light and bright colors, but to college stoners and parents alike. So with that brief intro we invite you to join us after the jump to take a trip down (foggy) memory lane and check out the Top Ten Sorely Missed Cartoons of the 90’s. Did your favorite make the list? 10.) Freakazoid -’95-’97  Chronicling the adventures of the title character Freakazoid a manic, bipolar sort of superhero who is the alter ego of a geeky 16 year old computer nerd (who just so happened to get super powers from a computer bug… literally). We still catch ourselves calling people Freakazoid to this day…

9.) Doug – ’91-’94 The story follows Doug Funnie and his family after having moved to a new town called Bluffington. Two of the other main characters are Mosquito ‘Skeeter’ Valentine his b.f.f.f. (best fucking friend forever) and Patti his love interest, who in our adult opinion sounds a lot like Jodie Foster and is probably just as gay. Doug kept a journal and narrated much like Dougie Houser. He went through real teenage stuff, ya know? Like real cartoon teenage stuff… (see attached video) Anyone remember The Beets? 😛

8.) Captain Planet – ’90-’92 Possibly the only super hero with a mullet…If Captain Planet were around now, he’d surely be pissed at the way BP is raping the earth, luckily for them he died off in the 90’s. Bastards. When 5 rings were activated by children of different races including the Soviet Union (wtf?) Fire,earth,Water,Wind and..Heart? What the shit? Who the hell thought of this? Don’t forget stars, horseshoes,clovers and blue moons…no wait, that’s cereal. What were we talking about? Whatever, just watch this video.

7.) AAAhh!! Real Monsters – ’94-’97  A show that everyone seems to forget, until it’s mentioned and then they have the same response “Oh My FUCKING GOD! I Loved That SHOW!” We did too!  Hell, one of the main characters is like a little monster version of  Dr. Frank N. Furter. This show had us wishing we could find monsters under our beds.

6.) Cow & Chicken/ I am Weasel – ’97-’99 Possibly one of the strangest shows on the list, Cow & Chicken follows a brother and sister who are a cow and a chicken, named Cow and Chicken, somehow born to human parents. The show eludes just how Mom got knocked up with animal babies, but we have our theories. A regular on the show is The Red guy…which we’re fairly certain is Satan. Each 30 minute Cow and Chicken episode featured two shorts in between the two was an even shorter short (ha) called I am Weasel. This cartoon had a very Spy Vs. Spy feel to it. Except that one spy was a brilliant  weasel and the other was a retarded neanderthal baboon (giant red ass included).

5.) Dinosaurs – ’91-’94 The only non cartoon on our list Dinosaurs had a Rosanne vibe to it, yet it featured anthropomorphic dinosaurs. It’s unknown to us why they took this gem off the air. With catch phrases like ” NOT THE MOMMA!” and “I’m the baby, gotta love me!” we thought we’d be seeing that weird reptilian human hybrid fat baby thing for years to come! Sadly, we were mistaken.

4.) The Tick – ’94-’96 We like our superheroes neurotic and weird, really weird here at NerdBastards and this guy is right up our alley. Known for his dim witted ‘inspirational’ speeches. It’s kind of like this, bless his heart…he means well. His battle cry is “SPOOOOOOOON!” for god sakes. That alone let’s you know how awesome he is.

3.) Gargoyles – ’94-’97 Gargoyles was an awesome show in the 90’s. It followed Gargoyles that had guarded a castle in Scotland a thousand years ago, but were tricked by an evil wizard and turned to stone for a 1,000 years only to wake in modern day Manhattan. They are stone by day alive by night. Also the leader, Goliath is banging this way hot chick who has a thing for statues. HIGH FIVE!

2.) Rocko’s Modern Life – ’93-’96 Have you ever as an adult revisited the things you liked in your childhood? Re-Watched movies and shows you loved and remembered in a very particular way only to realize that they were fucking filthy and awesome for entirely different reasons? That’s how we feel about this show. This adorable little Aussie transplant and his gang of misfit pals got into all sorts of trouble as we remember it from childhood. Only now do we get most of the jokes. The restaurant they frequented? The Chokey Chicken. Rocko’s dog’s name? Spunky. Yeah, we won’t ruin all the hilarious jokes stuck in there for you, but we do suggest you check out this show. Preferably stoned.

1.) REN & STIMPY- ’91-’95 What else would we have put at number 1? Really? Nothing tops the insanity of Ren and Stimpy. As a show marketed for children there is nothing more inappropriate and just plain fucking weird. Not just the most missed cartoon of the 90’s possibly the best show of the 90’s hell you’d be hard pressed to find anything on T.V. today that even comes close to the awesomeness of Ren and Stimpy. You can’t tell us you don’t sometimes think at breakfast how much easier life would be if Powdered Toastman was in you kitchen helping you out. When your bored don’t you wish you had a LOG? Sometimes we all just need a little happy and that’s what that fat ass cat and anorexic dog gave us. We salute you  Ren and Stimpy…We salute you!

Category: Featured, Nerd Culture, TV

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