WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE NEWEST EPISODE OF “TRUE BLOOD”
Well folks, I’m back from my three week vacation (Special Thanks to Rachel Hill for taking the review reigns)! And after watching the last three episodes in quick succession – what a ride this season has turned out to be.
But enough about the old stuff, let’s get on with what happened on tonight’s second last episode of season three.
First off, I know I have said it before, but I love Pam in every episode she appears in. She really got to kick some ass in the opening, didn’t she?
This episode was all about characters spilling their secrets and exposing true motives, and almost every character had a moment, which is difficult with such a large cast of characters.
Jason was surprisingly calm about Crystal revealing her secret of being a were-panther, so you have to give him credit for taking it in stride with all the other weird stuff happening around him. Then, after taking a detour to see a hot-shot high school football player admit he was doping V to become a football star, Jason said that he loved Crystal and will help her save the innocents at the meth lab.
Jessica revealed to Hoyt about killing the trucker, but he said he loved her anyway. So, like all human-vampire couples on this show, Jessica fed on Hoyt and they had sex. Ahh, young love.
And now, the less important plot points in quick succession: Sam has completed his transformation from a do-gooder doormat to a spiteful asshole who has sex with Tara, after she confronted Andy about who really killed Eggs. We learned that Summer and Mrs. Fortenberry (Hoyt’s mom) were working together to force Hoyt to fall in love with her. Arlene tried to have an Wiccan-sponsored absortion of Renee’s evil baby, but apparently, it didn’t take. And lastly, I have no friggin idea what is going on with Lafayette and the talking voodoo dolls.
Finally, Eric confronts Russel with a proposal – daywalking (the holy grail of vampires). However, anyone who paid attention last episode when Bill said that Sookie’s fairy blood allowed him to daywalk briefly, could probably see the ending of the episode coming clear as day. See what I did there?
Coming into the final episode, I cannot help but notice that this season has been lacking much of the tension surrounding the other seasons. There is no big bad or central mystery this season other than Sookie’s origin, but that was fairly well-known. Still, not bad for the second last episode.
And now, I am glad to bring to you the return of the three best lines from the episode.
3) “It’s like a werewolf, but with a panther” – Jason
2) “I used to drink hot sauce out of the bottle. It was a good time” – Andy
1) “Sip it or shoot it?” – Arlene
I give “Fresh Blood” seven and a half pints of blood out of ten.