Do you know how in movies, all the times the bad guys want to EMP the world and revert back to dark times? Like, no electricity, no indoor plumbing and scavenging for your own food ala Mad Max? Okay, I think my dad could survive. I think my buddy Erik could adapt. So this is where it begins, and this is where it ends.

Because sorry NerdBastards, the rest of us are fucked. We will not survive. Everything will not be okay. For we are ill equipped my fellow Bastards. I like to think of myself as a tough guy. I’m a little rugged looking, savvy talking, covered in tats, bad ass, who without any of my comforts will collapse like the Roman Empire. I am an imposing looking fuck, but without a gun and a bandoleer across my chest I’m fucked. And you’re fucked too. All of us chalk white, sun loathing, laptop vampires will be pillars of salt, and blow away in the wind. Raped too.

Do you have a girlfriend or wife? Not anymore, any of us NB’s who had some suave to get our hands on a girl are now single. Because the Alpha’s will take them from us. And I won’t do a thing. Because I will fail at that too. My wife will be taken by a biker gang who will kick the fuck out of me, because I have spent more time on the computer than at the gym. Yes, I’ve traveled the world. Yes, I am well read and bright. Yes, I am funny. Guess what, THAT WON’T FUCKING MATTER!!!

So buy a gun, a backpack, an Arwen Sword Replica, and start trying to stay out in the forest near your house for more than 3 hours….Because you know where I thought of this? When I was going the bathroom today and wondered what the fuck I’d ever do if I had to go the bathroom outdoors and realized…I would be totally fucked.

Everything is not going to be okay….

Category: WTF?