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(Retro movie review is a bi-weekly feature by guest writer Delilah Dawson. D. takes a look back at some of our generations best nerdiest movies (in today’s case, a television show) and makes us appreciate them all over again.)

I guess having vampires on the brain is considered normal now, right? I mean, I have my dogeared Anne Rice and I’m the only person in the world besides Dr. Krog and Stewart Townsend’s mum who saw Queen of the Damned in the theater five times.

But, for some odd reason, I’m just now getting around to watching the hit TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was created by Firefly genius Joss Whedon.

You see, it’s about this unusually pretty high school girl who kills vampires and generally runs into any supernatural nasties in the tri-state area. And she has friends who help her with the demon-smacking and praying-mantis-stabbing hijinks.


And there’s a requisite eternal hottie. As of the first disc of Season 1, it’s Angel, played by David Boreanaz. He’s mysterious, unapproachable, moody, and dangerous– a guy to which any high school girl can relate.


Oh so familiar, yes.

But then Angel developed a power that Edward can’t obtain:


Yes, friends. Death ray nipples.

“Oh, my name’s Edward, and I’m the perfect man and I’m good at everything I try and I have, like, five doctorates and can play the piano and read people’s thoughts and run at superhuman speed and eat deer.”

Super, but can you boil your own bathwater, Mr. Fancypants? Angel can.

I don’t mean to draw so many comparisons between Twilight and Buffy, but I can’t help it. The themes and images are so familiar.


But you know why?

Because vampires are a freakin’ archetype, and every lonely high school girl wants to be the shiny new popular girl who nabs the perfect boy, and people adore an impossible love story and want to live forever and be super pretty and glittery. It seems familiar because it’s been done 1000 times before, and we still love it.

Oh.

Yeah.

My review of Buffy. You probably didn’t want my thesis on The Vampire in Popular Literature, 1800 – 2010, Subtitle: Rock Me, Lestangedwardula.

Buffy is awesome. The effects aren’t nearly as sharp as today’s TV, and lots of the technology is hilariously archaic by now. The vampires look ridiculous when they’re bloodlusty, instead of the usual smoldering gorgeousness we’ve come to expect from our teen bloodsuckers.

Exhibit A(ck):


Every aspect of Buffy is unrealistic and somewhat ridiculous. But Dr. Krog and I love it, because it’s fun and can be purchased at Target in a Season 1 + Season 2 pack for $26.99, which is still less than you’d pay for the DVD of Bruno.

Thanks for the early Christmas present, mom!

For more pundit musings and other various goofy-ness you can check out Delilah’s website unrulyhelpmeet.com. You can also follow her on twitter @DelilahSDawson

Category: Featured, reviews, TV

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