(Post by nerdbastards fan and #1 commenter Mark Poynter, a.k.a Mordrun)
This is the time of year to be reflective and look at the things in our lives that bring us joy and happiness. (Que birds chirping, light that double rainbow!) For many of us it’s a tough time with the economy struggling and families fighting to stay afloat. (Que Empire theme music . . . Dum, dum, dum, dum, da dum, dum, da dum.) It’s easy to forget the good things. The simple things that make us smile each morning and dream each night, but that’s for regular people.
We’re Nerd Bastards!
We’re not worried about the everyday things, we’ve got those covered. We have Rumbas to clean our floors, web cameras to watch our homes, Ipads – Ipods – Iphones – Ipoops – and any other techno babble item you can stick an “I” in front of to help us through our day.
So what should Nerd Bastards be thankful for?
I’m so glad you asked:
1. Topless Robot had a contest over the weekend for what nerds are thankful for. If you haven’t been to Topless Robot then you should check it out. It’s a fun site much like our beloved Nerdbastards with lots of snarky wit and fun stuff. So lets start off this list of things that Nerd Bastards should be thankful for with an entry in that Topless Robot contest that should bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your face.
Nate the Grate said:
I’m thankful I wasn’t on Alderaan
Nate really hit the nail right on the head. We could even throw in all the other planets and places that blow up, sink into the ocean, burn down, get attacked by aliens, covered in volcanic ash, irradiated, taken over by our intelligent monkeys, and overrun by zombie hordes. This simple yet elegant entry sums up a lot of why and what we should be thankful for. Out of millions and millions of ways this sparking blue planet could blow up in our faces, it hasn’t yet (knock on wood).
2. Duke Nukem Forever has not been released to the public yet. If your anything like most nerd gamers then you know the heartache that is Duke Nukem. Once an epic franchise, soon a forgotten and often lampooned joke in the gaming world. Who didn’t make statement the one below:
Most of us should just hope that drugs and alcohol have clouded our friends memories enough to slightly change those drunken, angry promises made a long, long, long time ago. Has Duke Nukem got anything that Grand Theft Auto didn’t shock us all with? Duke Nukem coming out now is like Lockheed bringing out a biplain and asking the government to pay 26 million for it. Ten years in game evolution time is about six generations in our time, anyone for up for an exciting game of pong?
3. Moore’s Law- The observation made in 1965 by Gordon Moore, co-founder of Intel /TERM/I/Intel.html, that the number of transistors /TERM/T/transistor.html per square inch on integrated circuits /TERM/1/integrated_circuit_IC.html had doubled every year since the integrated circuit was invented. Moore predicted that this trend would continue for the foreseeable future. In subsequent years, the pace slowed down a bit, but data density has double approximately every 18 moths, and this is the current definition of Moore’s Law, which Moore himself has blessed. Most experts, including Moore himself, expect Moore’s Law to hold for at least another decade (2020).
This is what makes all the games better, all the social network run, all that crappy CGI we all love to complain about when it’s done wrong. Where would Nerds be without computing power?
No Snarky websites.
Oh the humanity!
4. Willis O’Brien and Ray Harryhausen. If you know who these guys are, then I’ll buy you a beer the next time your in Atlanta. We should sit, drink some beer, have some hot wings and potato skins, and talk old movies.
Willis O’Brien is the guy behind King Kong 1933. Back when stop motion animation was the hottest thing cooking in Hollywood. O’Brien went on to work with and inspire Ray Harryhausen. Harryhausen went on to make the great movie effect films like The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad in 1958, and The Clash of the Titans in 1981. Yea, these monster may look cheesy by today’s standards, but back then, these effects were crazy awesome.
These are the guys are that inspired all the guys (Jackson, Lucas, Spielberg, yada, yada) that make the movies we love, and love to hate today. Check our Netflix and Que up these gems one Saturday afternoon. You won’t regret it, and you’ll appreciate all the nifty new special effects these old school movies influenced.
5. Ebay and other online auction and shopping sites. Wait, don’t grab those pitchforks and torches yet, let me explain. Even considering all the problems some of these sites have, not everyone lives in a big city or is blessed to have a great local comic/game shop. Back in the days before Ebay and other internet auction and shopping site, people who didn’t have a brick and mortar shop to go couldn’t get comics, board games, and other nerdy stuff, it was next to impossible.
Now those same people have their own way to great new stuff, sell their old stuff, and discover new stuff the never knew about and gotta have. At the same time it helps the local comic shop stay afloat by opening wider markets for the nerdy stuff they have.
6. Star Trek fans of the 1970’s and 80’s. Trekkies, Trekers, or what ever the hell they want to be called these days, we all owe a great debt of gratitude to all those Star Trek fans back in the day. Their nerdy love of a failed TV show drove them to gather in larger and larger numbers that eventually birthed that wild, wonderful thing we call a Sci-Fi Convention.
These early conventions sparked many of the things we love today. CosPlay roots are firmly intrenched in the Star Trek camp. You can’t go to a convention today without bumping into a Klingon, a Starfleet officer, and a chick in a that classic and oh so lovely miniskirt. These conventions also showed that fans had money, and would spend it on things they loved. The nerd dollar was born. Once the powers that be realized that there was money to be made, the flood gates opened and the seas parted. The studios don’t make movie and television shows because they love them, they make movies and television shows because then can make a buck. Those smart execs had seen the nerdy light (Quie angels singing).
So the next time you and your hipster buddies are strolling through that convention floor cracking jokes and making fun of those Twilight fans around you, stop that old guy in that slightly faded red shirt and thank him for being one of the original Nerd Bastards!
Live long and prosper, you magnificent Nerd Bastards!
7. The Graphic Novel. Why the Graphic novel you say? Why it’s elementary my dear Watson, that’s where most of the great movie and television come from these day. Forget pitching a script, pitch a graphic novel with pictures and everything. It’s a story boarded story telling right there for the taking. This format didn’t just appear one day. The roots lay back in the giant, over sized comics of the early 1970’s.
These soon gave way to the slightly smaller Graphic Novels of the late 1980’s:
To the format we know and love today:
8. Adult Swim and Boomerang. Cartoons anytime you want! When your feeling kinda yucky and call in to work. Pile up plenty of Nyquil, Kleenex, Captain Crunch cereal, a couple of extra blankets, the remote, and settle in for some old school “home from school” recuperation. Boomerang brings us the greats from the past like , The Herculoids, Thundaar the Barbarian, and Duck Dodgers. Adult Swim brings us the greatest of the next generation cartoons; The Venture Brothers, Squidbillies, and Harvey Birdman- Attorney at Law are just a few of those great shows available.
9. Great ways to fly your Nerd colors. Everything from backpacks, golf club bags, bumper sticker, umbrellas, you name it. It used to just be the ratty t-shirt. Back in the day you practically had to make your own t-shirts with an iron-on transfer. Besides being an accident waiting to happen, those shirt iron-ons quickly fell apart with a wash or two. You had to wash them, nerdy girls don’t like smelly nerdy boys.
These days you just slide by your local Wal-mart or Target, the comic shop, or just sit at home, get online, and surf some of the great t-shirts site like:
*(No t-shirts were harmed in the making of this shameless plug for SPLITREASON, check them out. You can even try your hand at making a great T-shirt design! I will be sporting a SPLITREASON designed t-shirt won last week by entering “The Nerd Question of the Week” here at Nerd Bastards. You could win too!)
10. What are you thankful for? Comment below to finish out this list of Nerd Bastards Thankful things.
Ok, listen up you Nerd Bastards!
(I’ve tried to get y’all to participate in other lists I’ve posted and haven’t really gotten the response level that would make me smile or giggle like a little school girl. How about throwing in a ‘Thankful” comment below and make ME thankful for writing this article. If I get more than five responses, I’ll record my school girl giggle and get Luke (NB Senior Editor) to post it with my next list!)
May your stuffing be tasty.
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner, stay off your thighs.
Everyone stay safe and have a happy Thanksgiving!