Thoughts That Keep a NerdBastard Awake at Night


(Article by nerdbastards contributor Mark Poynter, A.K.A Mordrun)

Normal people are kept awake at night thinking about things like:

Will I wake up in the morning?

How am I gonna pay all my bills this month?

Do squirrels poop?  Why have I never seen a squirrel poop?

Why does my finger smell like cheese?

Will Jennifer Anniston ever find true love?

OK, the last one was mine, but how can Jennifer find true love until she gets a chance to really know me?  Anyone that can make that meeting happen without the use of duck tape and chloroform should shoot me an email.  Back to business; what thoughts keep a NerdBastard awake at night?  What makes that NerdBastard twist and turn in his Star Wars sheets?  Click through to find out!

Luke and Lea.  Did they?  Did they want to?  We saw the kiss, was there any heavy petting later?

What color do Smurfs turn when you choke them?

My kids, will they like Star Wars or Star Trek?  What if my kid thinks Picard is the best Starfleet captain?

What happens if when I finally see a real vampire, and he sparkles, even at night?

What if I survive the Robot or Zombie apocalypse, and the only other survivors are Pauly Shore and Carrot Top?

What if George Lucas decides to remake the original Star Wars Trilogy?

Who else besides Santa sees me when I’m sleeping, and knows when I’m awake?

Am I hairy enough to hide out as a gorilla when the intelligent monkeys take over the world?

Should I put Legolas on my fantasy “Would do” list?

When the zombie apocalypse happens and I’m quickly bitten and turned into a zombie, will zombie me like the taste, or will I just kinda chew it like broccoli?

Can someone please help me out with some answers to these questions?  I’d really like a full nights sleep. If you don’t have and answers then let me know what keeps you up at night?

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