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[Editors Note: I’ve written 3 paragraphs more than I needed to. So, in short- There will be a Reservoir Dogs porn. That is all.]

Us nerdbastards sure love porn. We love it like a fat guy likes cake. Now, when pornos make their way into the nerd medium by parodying pop culture with titles like Batman: A XXX Parody, The Sex Files, This Ain’t Avatar XXX that just makes us shoot massive, white, ropey wads of nerd splooge (Enough to give Spider-Man a run for his money.).  Some naysayers are complaining that there is just too many goddamn titles coming out. Ya got a Hulk parody, Avengers, Justice League, Superman, Wonder Woman, Star Wars…etc. Could it be becoming too much of a good thing? Too much porn? Never! Never, I tell you!

Adding to the library of greatest porno ideas ever comes (I’m throwing the word “come” around an awful lot) a parody to rule them all. AVN reports [link definitely not safe for work] that Exquisite Films, the same company that just did a porno Justice League film, is working on an “upscale, mature parody of Quentin Tarantino’s cult classic. Reservoir Dogs” Yes my horny nerd brethren a motha fuckin’ Reservoir Dogs porno will be in our grasps. If you’re like “Wha? Why is that a good idea?” may we remind you of the very raunchy dick talk in the films opening sequence? That dialog alone is reason to grant the idea of a Reservoir Dogs porn. After the first ten minutes, why watch the rest of the movie? Just think of the hilarity that will ensue when they go to porno-fy certain sequences in the film. Like what gets cut off, if not an ear? How are they gonna handle that? Do we even want to know…lol? Mr. Orange bleeding all over the back seat of Mr. White’s car also comes to mind.

Now, here’s the kicker. This son’ bitch is planned to be 3 hours long. I guess when you try to make a sex flick out of 99-minutes of dialogue then it’s run time is unavoidable, that is if you wish to capture the story and essence of the flick. But, 3 hours? Motha’ fuck, I can’t make it passed 30 minutes in any porn. Fuck, I’m lucky if I get passed 30 seconds (those quick, flashy trailers of other porn titles do me in every time.).

That cast includes Chanel Preston as Ms. Orange, Andy San Dimas as Ms White, Lizzy Borden as Ms. Blonde, Kimberly Kane as Ms. Pink and Raylene as Nice Girl Eddie.

It’s on my illegally download wish list.

source: slashfilm

Category: Film

Tags: , ,

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