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“The Cape”- What Did You Think?

As you know ‘Heroes’ was a horrible failure for a televised superhero show (season one was good, but went to shit immediately after.). “No Ordinary Family” has tried to fill the superhero TV blues, but it’s been received with a “Meh” response from viewers. Did NBC‘s new superhero show “The Cape“, which premiered last night fair any better? Well, this bastard thinks not.

I’d honestly rather take another toke and eat some cupcakes than dedicate the next few minutes dissecting ‘The Cape’, which was a complete waste of my time. Since I have far better things to do I’m gonna be brief and invite you all to have an open discussion, talk amongst yourselves type deal. Here are my quick thoughts.

So, ‘The Cape’. What was it about? *Sigh* Stereotypical blond haired dude (David Lyons), with a square jaw and moral compass gets framed for the murder of his police boss by some twisted asshole who wants to take over the town. Hero goes into hiding, meets some circus people (gay) and in the matter of a few hours learns magic, dons a cape and fights to clear his name while taking a bite out of crime. If there is one word that can describe the 2 hour premier of this hideous, horrible excuse for a super hero show it’s… “cartoony” As far as I was sold (by commercials, which were jammed down my throat every goddamn minute), ‘The Cape’ was meant to be the story of a man in the real world who adopts a comic-book persona. A dark, edgy take on the crusader bit with a sense of realism. Instead we got an over the top, silly, misguided, piece of derivative shit.  This is a show where the main character whips a magic bathrobe around, using the fabric to throw knives, disarm gunmen and grab the occasional piece of glassware. I dunno how I assumed it would be promising. Shame on me, I guess.

My biggest peeve with “The Cape”, besides it’s campy dialogue and one-dimensional villains is that it borrows too much from Batman. hmm, lets see. No superpowers. Uses smoke bombs. Has a techy/hacker girl assisting him (Oracle anyone?). The final scene with The Cape standing on top of one of the tall buildings looking out across the city just couldn’t have been more derivative. How un-profound.

As a whole? “The Cape” didn’t work for me. I couldn’t get past it’s disparate tonality, unintentional comedy and insignificant centrality. OK, I’m out. That last sentence was far and above the most intelligible thing I’ve written all week. My head hurts. I need a beer.

So, y’all know how I felt about it. Question is, what did you think? Please share your thoughts below. Have at thee!

Category: TV

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