You may have noticed the title image for this post (Look up. There ya go.) coincides with ‘the bastardcast’, our weekly podcast (You NB Newbies should check it out. It will put hair on your chest). You may have also noticed that this post is absent of said ‘bastardcast’. What gives? *sigh* Well, ‘The Patriots’ lost against ‘The Jets’ (Yes, we watch football… and NB.com offices are in Boston, MA. We’re fans. Yes, you can deduct us 100 nerd demerits.), Snooki from ‘The Jersey Shore’ reportedly died over the weekend, but that news turned out to be false (dammit!). Not to mention that the weather here has been a bitch. As much as I like a good run of excuses we did not skip the cast cause’ we were sour and grumpy. We took a night off to dedicate our time in brainstorming on how we can make nerdbastards a better experience. We don’t have any self esteem issues by any means, in fact we think we are well endowed sort of speak, but there is always room for improvement. So, we shared some peace pipe, chowed down on some Twinkies, watched a good 4 hours of pr0n, later moving onto 80’s cartoon intros on youtube. Eventually we got the proverbial mouse and wheel moving.
2010 was great. It was like an amazing one night stand who broke out anal in the first 10 minutes, but alas this is a new year. The ‘house of bastard’ made a for a good party, but in the news and entertainment industry you are only as good as what your next move is. What can we do better? What can we implement to make nerdbastards even more appealing? What’s this rash I have on my ass? Is it serious, should I have it looked at? Never mind that last question (Unleash you are doctor. In that case please help). In all seriousness, we did ask ourselves some very important questions on what would make a better experience. While many talks were had, the number one issue that we came to realize was that nerdbastards severely lacks user-interaction. The social dynamic is missing. Nerdbastards.com isn’t some $2 Tijuana hooker where you can just bust a nut and leave. No! We want a relationship with you. A real relationship. Will make the sammiches. You bring the flowers. That’s what we want.
Now, what are we gonna do to make you say “Oh what a lovely tea party”? CLICK ON THROUGH to find out. I’ll give you a hint. It has absolutely nothing to do with Pancakes.
Right, Pancakes. We all love em’, but sadly there is no room for Pancakes here at nerdbastards. OK, that’s a lie. Will be sure to offer more Pancake related posts in the coming months. Anyway, here are some ‘new’ things we are going to be offering:
–Forums/Message Board. Yes, Forums…finally. Y’all have been asking for them and we have listened. We are going to be rolling out a start-up Forum in the next couple of weeks. In this Forum will have threads on all the typical nerdbastard’s categories like ‘Movies’, ‘TV’, ‘Comics’, ‘Video Games’..etc, as well as have some fun ones, like ‘Fan-Fiction’ and ‘Nostalgia Corner’.
–A Weekly Poll. Will be puttin’ up a ‘Poll’ widget soon, where there will be a weekly nerdy question, like ‘What Did You Think of “The Green Hornet?”‘. You’ll have 4-5 pre-selected responses to vote on, like “It was the tits”, “It Sucked. I Hate Seth Rogen’s Face”. These question will be topical. There will be a new one every week.
–More Interaction From ‘The Nerdbastards’. The writers of nerdbastard.com sometimes fraternize with the other kids, but we often play too much in our own sand box. Just ’cause our tagline is “Entertainment for the Socially Awkward” doesn’t mean we have to be. We are going to start making our presence known on the comment threads, upcoming forum, and on our Facebook and Twitter feeds. So, for those wondering “Can the bastards come out to play?”, yes we will.
–Contests. We’ve run the occasional contest/giveaway and it’s been a huge success for us. Apparently people like gettin’ free shit in exchange for very little work. You’re a bunch a grubby, hungry whores… and we love ya for it. We got some good prizes sitting in our offices… and they have your name on them. Will be rolling out more giveaway contests in the weeks ahead. We’re also going to try some contests with non-prize rewards. Like photoshop and “caption” contests. Perhaps bragging rights will be enough of a satisfaction.
–More Unique Content. We got a little too comfortable with our current original content, I.E. “Guess Who Mondays”, “DVD Tues”, “G.R.O.W”, “This Week in Comics”, “Thursday Top 10” and “Sexy Cosplay of the Week”, but lets face it, it’s typical and derivative of what every other pop culture site does. We’re still going to keep them, ’cause there mainstays for a reason, but will freshen things up with ooccasional analysis, reviews, commentaries, interviews, advice and other columns. We’re also looking for our audience to contribute reviews and articles. E-mail us if you have something to contribute. Maybe we’ll look at it. Maybe we’ll post it anyway and make fun of it.
Well, that’s about it. All these ‘new’ toys will be on the horizon. We do what we do because, well we feel like it, but at the end of the day we have an audience. Fans are what define us. With out you we are nothing. We want to keep you happy. We want to keep throwing new and exciting things your way. It is our hope what we have in mind for the days and weeks ahead will make you nod your head in approval. If you don’t like it, will just have to kidnap you and throw you into our vat sharks. Excuse me, vat of MEGA Sharks.
Like what we had to say? Do you think we are gay and stupid? Well tells us. Your thoughts and opinions are greatly appreciated. Your feedback is what motivates us to be better bastards. Have at thee!
Oh, one more thing. I didn’t want to broadcast this so early, but we have something very exciting we are cooking up for May/June. In the aspect of self promotion and giving back to the nerd community we are in the early stages of putting together a night of nerd rock and burlesque. A rockin’ wild night to celebrate how bad-ass it is to be a nerd. Nerdy music, nerdy girlies and a few hundred fans. It will be in May or June (date not confirmed) in Boston, Massachusetts at “Church of Boston“, from 7-midnight. We are in talks with bands like “Warp 11“, “PowerGlove“, “BrentalFloss“, “Harry and the Potters“, “Kirby Krackle“..etc and burlesque troupe “devils playground“. We are setting this up to be one of the best nights for nerds the east coast has ever seen. I don’t have any more details than that right now, but stay tuned.