Last summer the above picture of the Firefly crew dressed in Starfleet uniforms was floating around. I just saw it again and it got me thinking. I’d love to see the Firefly gang pull off a job against those stuffy Starfleet officers. Wouldn’t that make an awesome mash-up? We could see some classic match ups, down and dirty, drag out, mega Fanboy fights.
Click the JUMP to see what Firefly / Star Trek match-ups this Nerdbastard wants to see.
Spock vs River? Spock moves in for the mind meld, River giggles, sweeps the leg, gets a head lock, reads Spock’s mind learning the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, uses said Nerve pinch and then sits, running her fingers over the ridges of Spock’s ears.
Inara vs Counselor Troi? Who cares who wins as long as there’s lots of wrestling and grunting. Grab a beer and watch the show with Jane and Captain Kirk.
Star Fleet Red shirt vs Jane’s hat? They’re both apt to be fired on first with questions asked later. Questions like, “Why they hell would you wear that?”
Captain Kirk vs. Malcolm? I’m not sure which of these would get to that beaten up, half naked, torn shirt look faster. I do know that while Kirk stops fighting and tries to talk it out, Mal would just draw down and fire first. Mal would have questions . . . but those could wait until later.
Wash vs Wesley? This may be the most awkward fight ever. I’m seeing a lot of model type bitch slapping hands. Lots of “ouch,” and “Hey, that hurts!” and “Not in the face . . . Not in the face!” I’m not sure which would run to tell “Mommy” first.
Doctor Julian Bashir vs Doctor Simon Tam? How many boring medical school stories would we have to sit through before these guys get down to hitting each other? Way too many. I figure Kirk and Malcolm would shoot them both to shut them up.
Zoe Washburn vs Jadzia Dax ? This would be the knock down drag out fight of the century. Neither of these ladies would give up. I figure the audience would end up wincing with each punch and kick after the first hour of the fight. On the other hand, with all the clothes ripping, we might get to see where those Trill body markings really end . . .
Scotty vs Kaylee? Gotta give this one to Kaylee. She would have Scotty wrapped around her little finger in about 5 minutes . . . then the Scotch flows . . . and they end up drunk, naked, and sweaty in a Jefferies tube. Wait, that’s more of a tie. We’ll go with the younger Scotty, no need to creep out all the Nerdbastard ladies out there with the chubby, moustasched, older Scotty that can’t walk under a support beam without knocking himself out.
Shepard Book’s hair vs Worf’s hair? Book’s hair wins the “bat-shit” crazy category, but Worf’s hair was trained in combat for 5 years at the Klingon Monastery at Boreth. That hair knows that “Five Finger Death Punch” from Kill Bill.
The Network guy from NBC that canceled the original Star Trek vs the Network guy from Fox that canceled Firefly. I picture a cage match, over lava, one man enters NO ONE LEAVES fight. Pon-Farr music playing in the background, with narration by Jim Carrey in that creepy voice he does in Cable Guy.
Did we miss a match up you would like to see? Then throw down in the comments section or shut the hell up! Those that don’t contribute to the conversation have no rights here . . . wait, they do have the right to GTFO.