Everybody needs a break sometime, from the Man of Steel to Stormtrooper TK-471. It takes a lot out of a clone to shoot so much and hit so little. So where should the overtaxed and over worked Superhero head for a relaxing vacation? There’s a whole galaxy out there to choose from. With so many choices it could all boil down to that properly placed travel ad or commercial.
So grab your loudest Hawaiian shirt, money belt, passport, phrase book (You might need to find a restroom or contact the American Embassy) and click through the jump to check out the hottest fictional resorts out there according to Nerdbastard’s Travel and Tourism Board.
Latveria – Enjoy our quaint villages, our Bavarian like lederhosen, and if you step out of line; our State Police. State controlled Police robots will whisk you away to an secluded, underground getaway. Enjoy the frequent “personal massage” beatings, stretch out on our racks that have relaxed and loosened our own citizens joints and bones for hundreds of years. The gruel is to die for, the maggot larva provide plenty of protein, you’ll quickly drop those pesky pounds and get back to your adolescent weight.
Genoshia – Land of genealogical wonder and breath taking landscapes. Frolic with the ghosts of millions of mutants, create your own lean-to with any of the rubble you can move. Enjoy the silence that can only be created by the slaughter of millions of mutants. Gather mementos amid the rubble, play our newest national pastime, “What’s that melted building look like now?”
Zombieland – There’s 32 rules to enjoying your stay in Zombieland, but don’t worry, we’re always looking for new staff to replace those park employees that take just a little too much damage to the head. Zombieland has a very liberal hiring policy, if you can take a bite and be willing to bite back . . . your hired. Zombieland employee benefits include fresh meat daily, tight bathroom stalls that are hard to escape, and all the Twinkies you require for bait.
Mordor – This tranquil vacation spot cries out for the group approach to travel because everyone knows, ‘One does not simply walk into Mordor.” Mountain vistas and foggy lake views abound in this land. Rock climbing is a favorite pastime for those traveling into the magical land of Mordor. Don’t let those hucksters from the Giant Eagle Flying tours fool you, the views from the ground are much more breath taking, and you get to mingle with the loveliest of people, and orcs, and goblins, and war elephants.
Gotham City – Come to Gotham city and enjoy our cities “circus-like” atmosphere. You’ll see lots of costumed clowns running all around and over the town. Take the famous Batman Bus Tours, see where his parents were gunned down, where Bane broke his back, and where the Joker put a bullet into Batgirl. You can get a discounted room rate at Arkham Asylum for a fun filled night, there are always plenty of rooms open after an inmate escapes.
Alderan – Enjoy unobstructed Galactic views and endless expanses at the Shining Star of the Core Worlds. Be sure to bring your own oxygen replenishment system, as Alderan Galactic Travel is not responsible for atmosphere and respiration requirements of our guests. Gravity is optional. Take the little ones asteroid mining, there are plenty of asteroids floating around to choose from. Come and enjoy the world that Emperor Palpatine points to when urging other worlds to be the best Galactic Empire Planet they could be.
Apokolips – Use our convenient Boom Tubes to arrive at this vacation getaway. Your vacation director Granny Goodness has a room ready for you. Cleanse yourself in the famous Apokolips Fire Pits and dine on Spicy Parademon stew. Perhaps you’ll get treated to a show by the famous Mr. Miracle and his traveling Freedom Show. Enjoy yourself because: “Darkseid Was. And so — Darkseid Is.”
Phantom Zone – Come and enjoy the galaxy spanning Kryptonian vacation spot; the Phantom Zone. Thrill to the accounts of General Zod’s adventures and battles, just gather round and kneel before Zod. Zod will regal you with his greatness, his generous protection, then, and only then, may you take General Zod’s hand and swear eternal loyalty to Zod!
Innsmouth – Come for the fishing and stay for the weekly village festivals. Our historic festivals are well renowned for excitement and suspense, you won’t want to leave after getting the full festival treatment. So grab your best brown robe, your tackle box, and your zest for authentic Esoteric Order of Dagon rites and come for a visit and stay for our lords Father Dragon and Mother Hydra.
Arrakis – Come and enjoy the endless beaches, cool desert nights, and all the Spice you can scrap from your stillsuit after a day of sight seeing. Dance the night away at the “Thumper” Club located on dunes all around Arrakis, don’t mind the worm sign, Spice it up and dance till the worms come home