Admittedly, I don’t give a shit about Akira. I know the Anime is a landmark film in Japanese animation and I’m also aware what a huge cult following it has. The Manga is arguably better, but that’s neither here or there. Blah! Futuristic post-war cities, biker gangs, secret government stuff and physic powers that turn you into a cyborg blob of trash, just doesn’t do anything for me . Put all that into a gay porn and then we can talk. Wait… I meant straight porn. *Derp* The shit is just overrated and so dated.

For the rest of you, how do y’all feel about this PG13, Americanized, live-action Akira that is being planned by Warner Bros.? Albert Hughes is set to direct a script which passed through the hands of several screenwriters, ultimately leading to the hands of Harry Potter screen writer Steve Kloves. Do those names do anything for ya? Or, are you less concerned with the folks attached and more focused on what the hell “Americanized” means? Naturally that means taking a recognizable product or franchise for the share matter of making a quick cash grab. Then gutting and twisting it into a version completely unrecognizable to the source material. Ultimately serving shit with a cherry on top. Kinda like someone fucking your puppy and making you pay to watch.

Recent “supposed” script leaks have revealed some things that will send fan-boys up in arms. *clears throat* The movie will take place in America, not Japan and will be in Neo-Manhattan instead of Neo-Tokyo. Kaneda and Tetsuo are brothers in this version of the story instead of childhood friends. Kaneda Meets Ky (otherwise known as Kei in manga/anime) in jail and she knows a lot more right off the bat than she did in previous versions (manga/anime), as she explains some of the story of the psychic ‘children’ that help awaken Tetsuo’s powers. Speaking of which, here’s a bit of horrible jail dialog-” Honey, we’re both behind bars. And while you’re a real treat to look at, I’ve got a ‘no crazy girl’ policy. So good luck with your quest. I’m sure you’ll find Akira hiding out with the Easter Bunny and Santa someplace.” Nice, huh? On the plus side its said some of the Manga’s thematic elements about drugs and Jesus will make it into the film. Yay?

Please note that io9 got these script pages, and later verified that, yes, they are from an early Akira draft, but that “the version of the script that Kloves is rewriting is reportedly a lot different, although it’s possible that some of these ideas still remain.”

Personally, whatever the final product is I can surely assume it will be utter shit.  It’ll end up looking a little something like this cartoon by Harry Partridge which brings so much truth to this sad joke:

Category: Comics, Film

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