Resident Evil 5 is happening. Excuse my while I slam my dick in a sliding glass door, repeatedly. ARGHH! Resident Evil Afterlife (4th in the series) was terrible. It was all style and no substance. Awful dialogue, and embarrassingly simplistic storytelling. It was just pubescent eye candy. Slo-mo decapitations and other forms of gory special effects. A 2 hour music video! Bah! I few-king hate that movie. As well as it’s two predecessor (First one I kinda dug).

Well, apparently I’m alone on this because Afterlife outgrossed every single other film in the franchise, including a huge $200 million plus overseas. So now, Screen Gems has just announced that Milla Jovovich will be reprising her role as Alice in the yet-to-be titled fifth Resident Evil film for a theatrical release on September 14th, 2012.

Oi! I can’t imagine what type of human being enjoyed Afterlife, the piece of shit it is, even as a “guilty pleasure.” Regardless, a flick makes $296 million and I can’t say I’m surprised they wanna keep tapping into that well.

You RE fan-boys are welcomed to disagree with my wishes to see more Resident Evil flicks, but this franchise can sniff my taint.

There is no word yet if Paul W.S. Anderson will return to helm the film, or if other cast members will be reprising their roles. Screen Gems recently announced their plans to bring another video game franchise, Devil May Cry, to the silver screen. So in other words, Screen Gems is the devil.

Category: Film, WTF?

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