Nerd culture has come a long way in the last 20 years. Out of our parents basements and into the main stream of movies, music, and fashion. Hating on a nerd just because they like Scifi, computers, or comic books has seen a rapid decline, but we all know that there are still some nerds out there that deserve the ill feelings they generate through their own behavior.
You know who I’m talking about. You avoid them at the book store, you keep your head down while passing their desk at work. You know that to make eye contact is to invite that nerd to interact with you in that manner that just grinds your gears.
Click through the jump and find out what ten nerd types really grind our Nerdbastard gears
The D&D Rules Lawyer Nerd – This is the guy that can’t seem to let go of the books. “But the standard adventurers pack doesn’t have rope!” Every time you start to get into the game and the game pace is smoking . . . this rules lawyer stops everything in it’s tracks, “Wait . . . Goblins don’t use slings!” You end up spending most of your time trying to screw with the Rules Lawyer . . . missing out on the simple pleasure of a dungeon romp or destroying a tavern in a good bar fight.
The Cheat Using Video Gamer Nerd – Hey, everyone uses them sometimes, what we’re talking about here though is the guy that always uses them. He never has to replay that tough boss, never has to really learn any skills, but loves to brag about how fast he “trashed” the game.
The Online Roleplayer That Won’t Play on a Roleplaying Server Nerd – I love roleplaying, except when your on a server that isn’t a roleplaying server. Those people are looking to move up in ranks quickly and don’t want to “screw” around, get in, get the job done, and move on. Why buck the system? Go play on a server that encourages the type of play you like.
The Hasn’t Washed in Six Days Convention Guy Nerd – This guy could be in costume, maybe not, it’s hard to tell if a full length leather jacket in 95 degree weather constitutes a costume. The aroma of this guy clears a six foot circle around him, if your lucky enough to have room to move. Don’t people dry clean their costumes after a weekend of nonstop wear? No matter what, this guy somehow always ends up at my tournament table, won’t take the freely offered breath mint, and constantly leans over the table to “check out” my cards.
The All This Will Just Take a Minute to Autograph Nerd – Your standing in line at a convention or book store to meet your favorite author, artist, or actor and just a few people in front of you is that guy with a long box of comics, a stack of glossy pictures, or a backpack full of books looking to get EVERY SINGLE ONE AUTOGRAPHED. This is the worst, I’ve seen convention guests go from happy to miserable in 30 seconds. Some try to please the guy, some just say pick five, some decide to take a break right after that guy making the line wait another 30 minutes.
Not willing to take no for an answer this guy follows you and repeats after each tournament round.
The Mint Packaging Collector Nerd – This guy gets no pleasure from his collection besides the acquisition of new pieces. Counting on his mint condition Rom the Spaceknight figures to finance his retirement this guy won’t let anything out of the box, not even the multiple copies. Everything he collects is safely boxed up in a climate controlled room or closet. Nothing is seen again after that trip home.
The Action Figure at Work Nerd – It’s all about quantity versus quality here. This guy figures that if he has enough action figures on his desk at work then someone will eventually talk to him about his favorite. You can’t even put a folder on the desk without knocking over an action figure, sparking a nasty glare from this guy. I like to wait until he goes home for the day and reposition the action figures into compromising positions and make funny Post-it Note word balloons.
The Comic Book Store Lurker Nerd – Not anyone that works there, but the guy that hangs around all day waiting for someone to comment about some comic or movie so they can jump in and give their 35 cents worth of insight; not their 2 cents; their 35 cents. While you struggle to find a polite exit from the conversation you’ll notice the comic book store staff slowly backing away as you try to make your way to the register, your on your own.
The Tell the Spoiler Nerd – There are two kinds of spoiler guys, those that really don’t know they are doing it and those that take a gleeful pleasure in ruining it for others. Let’s just stick to the ones that like to spoil things. They lurk around comic shops, forums, and chat rooms, waiting to jump in with the comment about the ending or how they couldn’t believe that “thing” could happen. Suddenly your stuck reading or watching something with the foreknowledge you hoped to discover on your own.