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Sometimes there’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking (god bless you Derek Zoolander). And, I think actor Antonio Banderas has finally figured that out. The fucker will always be a sexy, suave spaniard (he is Spanish, right? I never paid attention) and I’ll always be really, really, ridiculously jealous of that, but I gotta give the Latin fury some credit for being in rare form and involving himself in one of the more unusual sounding films I’ve ever heard.

The film is The Skin I Live In by director Pedro Almodovar. It’s centered around a mad scientist Antonio Banderas and his obsession with creating an indestructible epidermis, no matter what pain he inflicts on his test subject.

“Your epidermis is showing!” What?

The 2011 Cannes Film Festival has released a brief but twisted scene from the film. It depicts Banderas’ character demonstrating his power over his helpless patient.

It’s perhaps a little too artsy fartsy and the subtitles don’t help (I got ADD) , but it’s got a lot going for it. Mad scientist. Skin. Torture and Tits. At least I assume there will be some tits. Can’t have a skin flick with out tits.

Here’s the official synopsis released by Cannes:

Ever since his wife was burned in a car crash, Dr. Robert Ledgard, an eminent plastic surgeon, has been interested in creating a new skin with which he could have saved her. After twelve years, he manages to cultivate a skin that is a real shield against every assault. In addition to years of study and experimentation, Robert needed a further three things: no scruples, an accomplice and a human guinea pig. Scruples were never a problem. Marilia, the woman who looked after him from the day he was born, is his most faithful accomplice. And as for the human guinea pig…

Speaking of tits. Are you ready for Boobs, Balls and Barbarians? Actually, the tag is “Babes, Balls and Muscles”, but shiiiiiiiiiiit, the makers of Ronal The Barbarian sure now how to market their little “runt of the litter saves the day” CG film. Any movie that has all that, plus a a skull belting out Europe’s “Final Countdown.” is enough for me to shout a Ric Flair “WOOOO”.

HIT THE JUMP for the trailer and while your down there check out some other upcoming Nerd Approved Cannes Films. *special thanks to i09 for doing all the work in rounding these up.

A viking fantasy adventure for adults.  Here’s the official synopsis:

Ronal is a young barbarian with low self-esteem, the polar opposite of all the muscular barbarians in his village. He’s a real wuss. However, as fate would have it, responsibility for the tribe’s survival falls on Ronal’s scrawny shoulders, when the evil Lord Volcazar raids the village and abducts every living barbarian. With the exception of Ronal, who is forced to go on a perilous quest to save his enslaved clan and thwart Volcazar’s plot to rule the world. Along the way, our unlikely hero is joined by Alibert the buttery bard, Zandra the gorgeous shield-maiden and Elric the metrosexual elfin guide. To ultimately vanquish the enemy, the band must overcome awesome challenges.

If you’re into kiddie films for adults then dude, you gots to check out paper animator Eric Powers Path of Blood – Demon at the Crossroads of Destiny. The animated short oddly enough chronicles one paper craft warrior’s path of blood. Ninjas, samurai and eyeball-munching crows. Awesome! Side note: the pulse pounding drum score is good jerkoff/sex music.

Path of Blood – Demon at the Crossroads of Destiny from Eric Power on Vimeo.

“The machines are attacking!” Ha, this trailer for Rob Spracking‘s 10 minute indie short Rise of the Appliancesis basically a “what if” Shaun of the Dead was about killer household appliances instead of zombies.

“Rise of the Appliances,”  has signed with indie film studio Big Rich to be translated into a feature film. Uh, the 10 minute horror comedy was funny, but I think the gag of household appliances running amok is only cute for so long. A full-length feature film is pushing it. On the other hand, it could be a cult classic, right up there with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

I am so done with shaky cam horror/scifi “found footage” films. It was cute when Blair Witch first did it and it should have ended in J.J. Abrams Cloverfield. That was enough.

So being that I’m done with the “found footage” gimmick, I didn’t even watch this trailer for 051: Confidential. All I know is that it has something to do with aliens, the military and bunch of folks documenting their attempted escape from “Area 51”.

For anyone that cares, here’s the synopsis:

The “found footage” science fiction horror film follows the events that befell a group of individuals in August 2001 who awoke to find themselves all stranded in a desolate area surrounding the military base known as “Area 51”. That footage was later allegedly used in a Military Training video for new hires at the facility.

As they explore the landscape, attempting to find a way – ANY way – back to civilization, all outgoing transmissions “blocked” and all electrical equipment mysteriously malfunctioning, they come into contact with a mysterious Army Colonel who claims to have survived a “massacre” by extraterrestrials as well as a man named “Lazar”, who claims to have been a former employee of Area 51 and had disappeared years prior…

Category: Film

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