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Top Ten Superhero Movie Goons

Whenever we watch a movie with a superhero, the first thing we see is the villain and his second in command (aka Head Goon). They can come in any form, with any power, and have a motivation that is similar but slightly different from the person they follow. They are armed with crazy bodily abilities, wit, and weapons that are used so fluidly they could be seen as an equal caliber of danger compared to those they serve. Every villain has one, and at times when the boss fails these goons can carry on the torch of vengeance, or die an epic, but slightly drawn out death. So let’s step through the evil hierarchy looking glass and see the top goons in Superhero Movie lore…

10) Bullseye (DareDevil-2003)

Even though it was weird to see Colin Farrell as bald as Mr. Clean, it was quiet chilling to see his rendition of Kingpin’s assassin for hire who took satisfaction out of killing others. Throughout the movie he is shown having to deal with the fact that despite boasting he never misses a shot, he just so happened to miss it once. This send Bullseye on a creepy little ego trip that is later quenched when he “kills” Elektra. He may not be on the top of our list, but he is one goon who survived and could kill you with a paperclip if he wanted to. That alone puts him in higher esteem than most, and is why he is one creepy hired hand.

 

9) Bob the Goon(Batman 1989):

After watching Batman on AMC last weekend, I couldn’t help but notice Bob the Goon. What made him stand out so much was the fact that he’d appear just in the nick of time to save the Joker’s skin. One such instance was when The Joker gets caught by Batman, and Bob steps out of the shadows with a gun to Commissioner Gordon’s head. I mean Bob was a normal guy with no defects or abilities whatsoever, but what puts him on the list is being there for the boss just when he needed him, and as The Joker later tells him, “Remember, you are my number one guy!” The fact that he doesn’t really do much other than “be at the right place”, and gets killed off puts him at the bottom of our list. But surely, the guy gets his props for being able to stick with the psychotic clown until death.

 

 

8)Ursa(Superman: The Movie-1978)

As one of the few survivors of Krypton and followers of Zod, this Kryptonian criminal was Zod’s second in command. This alien woman not only hates all men, but she is even said to direct her hate towards children as well. This woman alone held enough power to wound Superman, and together with Zod and Non could become a force more overwhelming with him. Her use of team work and loyalty to her leader despite being a male puts her in a precarious but overall interesting situation since even without her leader she poses a threat to the “Man of Steel” by being his equal in power and strength.

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7)Flattop ( Dick Tracy-1990)

His name may come from his facial features, but by all means his power as a hitman comes straight from his work with Alphonose “Big Boy” Caprice. As his boss’s top hitman, he is seen in the beginning of the film taking out 5 other mobsters with the help of only one other man. This guy sticks by “Big Boy’s” side and can be seen as slightly odd for his facial features. But it goes to show you looks don’t matter if you can bring in the results.

 

6)Reinhardt (Blade II-2002)

This solider for hire may not seem like much of a threat, but throughout the film Reinhardt is a major pain in Blade’s side until the end of the movie. His power and prestigious that comes from being the dependable commander of the elite guard off vamp soldiers. Reinhardt is Blade’s mortal enemy and shows it through his manipulates of those close to Blade, and constantly trying to one up him in the entire film. Even though his plans fail he follows Damskinos (his boss) every command and protects him to the bitter end.

5)Tatsu (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-1990)

Tatsu is Shredder’s second-in-command and oversees the entire youth center as a means to recruit Foot soliders, while attending to other matters while his master is out Tatsu has a short temper, and is physically abusive to the members of the Foot Clan. If you didn’t think this guy was a real pill before, it is later revealed through combat with Casey Jones, that his unwavering brutality extends even in his form of combat. Of course Tatsu later knocked unconscious by a Golf club, and his fate is left ambiguous. But,  goons who are brutal and powerful can never be kept down. He is close to the top of our list for his brutal fighting skills, and his means to survive despite continuously being beaten shows tenacity that only a few goons posses.

4) Mystique ( X-men -2000)

The moment this femme fetale stepped into the fighting ring with Wolverine and survived, is pretty much when she went up on the lost as a powerful female goon who demanded your respect. This is one of the many reasons she takes the fourth spot on our list. The fact that you also never know who is pretending to be puts you on the edge of your seat, and gives her the advantage of surprise. This character brought to life a vivid portrayal of how you should never judge a beauty by her amazing body ‘cause kitty might have some nasty claws.

3) Gabriel (Constantine-2005)

The angel Gabriel by far is one of the most unrecognized, but completely bad-ass hidden goons ever! I mean what amazed me about this character is that throughout the film it wasn’t apparent that Gabriel was working with Mammon, the son of Lucifer. Actually, you are lead to believe that Gabriel is only in the film as a representative of God who guides and counsels with Constantine. Gabriel’s angelic powers made it (since Gabriel was androgynous) a surprising force to be reckoned with, and it takes Constantine slitting his wrists to stop Mammon’s planned release. It takes balls to be the devil’s son’s henchmen in secret when God is always watching you. The angel’s holy powers used for evil, and Constantine having to kill himself to stop their plan is sign enough that this goon has some pretty holy balls, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

2)Kroenen (Hellboy-2004)

This crazy robotic form of a man is at the top of the list for being a lethal, and formidable goon. In the film he is shown as a royal follower of Rasputin who lives throughout the ages, and protects his master and Project Ragnarok to the point that he’d kill whoever stood in his master’s way without hesitation. His stellar fighting ability and superb cunning overshadow his untimely demise by the hands of Hellboy. This adds to his rank in awesomeness, ‘cause if the main hero of the film has to take the effort to battle and kill you then you have to be a pretty bad-ass goon.

1) Agent Smith(The Matrix-1999)

The number one spot has to go to the most ambitious and iconic henchman of all Agent Smith. He had me at, “Hello…Mr. Anderson.” He may have seemed like one of the many programs, but he somehow has more individuality than the other agents which lead to us noticing his vast amount of intellect and his emotional and destructive nature. He was different than what the Machine made him to be not only because of his quirks, but also because he is destined to be the contrast of Neo’s role in the matrix. Even after managing being killed by Neo, Smith returns unplugged and out for vengeance. He went from being one of the leaders of the machine’s cronies (aka Agents) to the one who would bring about the destruction of all existence. It takes Neo becoming a part of Smith, and killing himself to save the world. No easy fix for a henchmen turned central antagonist.

 

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