Whoa. I took the red eye from San Diego to Boston last night. Got home this morning and passed the fuck out. I intended to write a re-cap of 2011’s nerd prime a lot earlier, but I was in a con coma. Sorry.

Writing a review of San Diego Comic-Con 2011 is a nearly impossible task. But, Ill start with what pissed me off.

1. Long lines. Waiting 4+ hours to get into a hall you might not even gain entry to, it’s so stupid and totally not worth it. Especially when all panels and trailers you’ve waited hours for end up online later that evening. I know there is a pleasure of being there in person, but I don’t like to leave my house. I’d be just as satisfied catching everything in the comfort of my own home.

2. An un-godly amount of people. Yes, these people our my nerd brethren, but shit, if you walk the exhibit floor and decide to jump (I dunno why you would do that, but here me out) you’ll get stuck in mid-air. You basically have to rely on the people behind you to propel you beyond the wall of smelly nerds in front of you. This makes for VERY high levels of anxiety and possible fits of nerd rage.

3. Smelly nerds. The rumors are true. Nerds smell. For the most part, most everyone had decent hygiene, but there was a few rotten assholes (I mean that literally) that putrefied the air. Fecal particulate, arm-pit rot and tartar mouth wafted the air will nose tickling, head turning unpleasantness. Not cool.

4. Over priced food. It’s expected that you pay up the nose for food and merchandise when at a large venue, but $2.50 for a goddamn bite size cookie at Mrs. Fields, or $4.00 for a 20oz bottle of coke? I wouldn’t pay that much if it was filled with the tears of baby Jesus.

4. Asshole staff not knowing what the hell is going on. For fuck sake, is there any paid associate or volunteer that actually has a goddamn clue? Not one person gave me a correct answer to any of my inquires. Misinformation +misdirection + miscommunication = mis-EVERYTHING. I can’t even begin to tell you how many douchecanoes sent me in the wrong line, or how many half wits had be talk to person A, who sent me to person B, who then sent me back to person A. A cycle of stupidity. *Note: I apologize to anyone reading this who worked the con. There were plenty who helped out immensely and all of you were at least very nice, but there were just so many who made things unnecessarily difficult.

So why the hell did I even go? Well, all this aggravation and I CAN’T WAIT TO GO BACK NEXT YEAR. If you know about SDCC, you know just how unspeakably amazing the whole shindig is. A perfect circle of people you always want to hang out with. A plethora of places to go and things to see. Simply put, Comic-Con is your haven. Your heaven. Your home. It’s not a  perfect machine, but being there is an experience. A generally good one. And, girlie Cosplayers with HUGE, half exposed titties are totally worth it.

Onto the bullet point re-caps.

  • Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance will fuck your shit up. It was a pleasant surprise. The films directors are insane and this film looks a thousand times better than the first film. A menacingly, adrenaline fueled hellride.
  • Andrew Garfield gave a passionate Spider-Man speech, talking about how the character influenced his life. Sappy.
  • Rhys Ifans was arrested for being a drunk, security pushing assface (though considering the experience I had with the staff I don’t blame him). On the plus side, at least the footage of Lizard was pretty sweet. I’d say he looks like a cross between Killer Croc from batman and one of the Goombas from the wretched Super Mario Bros. movie.
  • Immortals looks exactly what you think it is, ‘300’ meets ‘Clash of the Titans’. Take that as you will
  • Psych Season 6 looks to have just as many moments and intriguing shenanigans as the previous season. Molly Ringwald, Danny Glover, Wade Boggs, Jason Priestly and….WILLIAM SHATNER  (The SHAT!) will guest star amongst others.
  • The Star Wars Blu-rays will have a bunch of well-known but never really shown deleted scenes.
  • The panel of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus panel showed scenes including Michael Fassbender crying milky white tears, Theron doing naked push-ups, a shot of a giant head, and people in space suits under stress.
  • Snow White and The Huntmans is not a sappy snore fest starring fest with Kristen Stewart. It’s looks looks to be a bad-ass tale on the scale of Lord of the Rings.
  • The Avengers, the all character poster complete with the hulk was revealed.
  • The Walking Dead season 2 trailer looks a lot more like Walking Dead‘s totally thumbs up pilot than the less than stellar other episodes, which is a good thing.
  • Edgar Wright said that his script for ‘Ant-Man’ just got turned in and something should happen soon. Also said the he and Simon Pegg with be working on the 3rd film of the Cornetto trilogy next month.
  • Brian K. Vaughan returns to Comics on 2012 with Saga
  • Doctor Who season 6.2 brings Nazis, weeping angels, and Rory on a motorbike. Will air in US on August 27th. Cannot wait.
  • Dexter Season 6 will premier Oct. 6th. The concept of faith is the theme this season.
  • Hugh Jackman revealed that The Wolverine will begin shooting in October and the lead villain with be the Silver Samurai.

Category: Comics, Featured, Film, TV

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