Police have released the above photo depicting a man who held up a Wendy’s in Rib Mountain, Wisconsin last week.
This Ninja bandit, who is described as 5’10 with a stocky build, waved a gun and tied up employees hands and feet with duct tape (How very un-ninja like) . He and his accomplish made off with a un-known sum of cash. Which I assume was used for pizza and whores dressed in yellow news reporting jumpsuits.
While this dilweed certainly “loved being a turtle” he’s clearly never watched a TMNT episode. Master Splinter would would never condone a life of crime, or such poor use of ninja skills. On the other hand, he did “vanish with out trace”.