This weekend Disney held their annual D23 convention in Anaheim, CA. Basically it’s their very own Comic-Con, 3 days of studio self whoring. The house of mouse made announcements and presentations for Oz the Great and the Powerful, The Muppets, Frankenweenie, John Carter, Wreck It Ralph, The Avengers and other upcoming films. Sadly, we did not attend this “hooray for Disney” weekend. We had more important things to do. Like get laid, eat cupcakes and knit. What? Knitting is cool. Fine, be that way. No knitted Jayne hat for you!

We do regret missing out on all the spiffy footage from all those tentpole films, but we can live with it. However, we are particularly sour about missing the reel of footage from Joss Whedon‘s The Avengers. As described to us, we missed a full scene pitting Loki (Tom Hiddleston) in a verbal battle with Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), followed by a sizzle reel of images and then another scene showing Loki conversing with Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) ending in the bang bang of Loki claiming “I’ve got an army,” and Stark countering with “We have a Hulk.” Dammit, we’re not gonna see this snappy footage for months *grumble*.

Courtesy from our friends at slashfilm, we have below a paraphrased description of the full The Avengers presentation. Enjoy!

The Avengers presentation began before the new footage was shown with a reel that highlighted all the important moments in the previous five Marvel movies, including the end credit scenes. Those were edited between  the following words, “From Technology, To Mythology, From Science, To Legend, Has All Been Leading to This.” Of course it was referring to Iron Man, Thor, Hulk and Captain America.

Kevin Feige then came out, talked about being a Disney geek, said there are two weeks left of shooting but he wanted to show something special to D23. He showed the footage I describe below. Much of the dialogue is paraphrased, as recorders weren’t allowed in the event.

It begins with Loki being locked in a large, circular glass room that’s very technologically advanced. Nick Fury walks in, presses some buttons on a touch screen and warns him: “In case it’s unclear, if you try to escape, you even scratch on the glass, it’s 30,000 feet straight down.” We see the floor open up revealing we’re on the Helicarrier. Loki says it’s an impressive cage, but not for him, and challenges Fury by asking how desperate is he to do what he has done. Fury retorts by saying that Loki has brought his world to the brink of war and “you kill because it’s fun, so you made me very desperate.” Loki taunts him by saying Fury was so close to true power. He had the tesseract (aka the Cosmic Cube) and but now he, Loki, will remind you what real power is. Fury responds by saying, “Tell me if real power wants a magazine.”

Meanwhile, as Loki is delivering that speech, we see The Avengers all sitting around a table with Thor standing in the middle (this is the footage from the brief teaser trailer) watching Loki on a monitor. It ends with Bruce Banner, wearing purple, (Mark Ruffalo) saying “He really grows on you doesn’t he?”

Cut to Nick Fury explaining that S.H.I.E.L.D. had an idea to bring together a group of extraordinary people who could fight the battles we never could. As he’s saying this, we cut around what the Helicarrier, seeing various S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and such.

Next we see Tony Stark behind a bar and he says, “Let’s do a head count.” This is all intercut with footage. “We’ve got two deadly assassins,” Black Widow and Hawkeye on a bridge next to a crashed car. “A demi god,” Thor looks up menacingly, then we see him jumping in slow motion swinging his hammer at Captain America. “A legend that actually lives up to the legend,” this is Captain America, who we see looking at his new suit and jumping away from an explosions. And Stark ends with “and somehow you managed to piss them all off.” The reveal is he’s talking to Loki. Loki says, “I have an army.” Stark says “We have a Hulk.” We then see a transforming leg and the new Hulk screaming into camera. Title card.

Category: Comics, Film

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