This, my friends, is the face of insanity.
Twenty two year old Josephine Smith thinks she’s a vampire. So much so that she attacked an old man in an electric wheelchair in front of a Hooters, saying, “I’m a vampire. I am going to eat you,” as she proceeded to tear away chunks of skin from his arm and face. What the fuck, right? The kicker is that she’d studied to be a dental assistant. Har har har.
Milton Ellis had been asleep when he was attacked, but managed to escape her demon clutches and call 911. Now, he has his own criminal record for a variety of random shit but nobody deserves to be subject to that kind of delusional insanity. The cops found Smith hanging out in the area, covered in blood and half naked. Even she’s not sure at which point in the story she’d decided to push her underwear down to her ankles but apparently that’s how they found her. I’m not even going to go there.
The lesson here, kids, is to make sure you never fall asleep in front of a Hooters. And them bitches be craaaaazy!
Hit the jump for the full police report.
I guess it’s time to send a mob to her house since her address is clear as day on that thing.
Source: The Mary Sue