All right, you’ve watched the season six finale of Doctor Who, right? “The Wedding of River Song“? If not, get the hell out of here! We’re about share an explanation of River Song’s complete timeline and, obviously, it’ll be bursting with spoilers. So, if you’re not all caught up on your Doctor Who leave now, ‘kay?

This week in what was also the final episode of Doctor Who Confidential, Alex Kingston, River herself, narrated a summary of River’s entire timeline, beginning to end. Steven Moffat has famously said, “I’ve never found River Song’s timeline that complicated. It’s just, she has the adventures roughly, broadly in reverse order to the Doctor.” Uh, yeah. That’s because you wrote it, dude! Us peons without the full scope of her history have been confused for years. And, y’know what? “The Wedding of River Song” didn’t explain it all! At least, as usual, I found myself still with questions? Like, is, “Look in my eyes,” what River whispered in the 10th Doctor’s ear? He says it’s his name. So, does the name reveal occur in an advetnure we’ll never see?! How frustrating. But then again, rule number one, the Doctor lies. As does, River. And so does, Steven Moffat, that brilliant bastard.

Unfortunately, the clip from Doctor Who Confidential is un-embeddable. Watch it over at Blogtor Who. Hopefully you’ll feel more enlightened after viewing. I kind of do.

Psst. You can also read our review of “The Wedding of River Song” over here.

Category: TV

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