banner

 

It’s amazing how much we can learn simply from watching movies. Although too much television is proven to make people eat more, feel depressed, and learn less, just the right amount of screen time can actually be quite enlightening. This is especially true when one is trying to learn a certain skill set, such as how to make weapons out of everyday objects (James Bond) or how to murder people and leave minimal traces of DNA evidence (Dexter). Less exciting but applicable to more people, here are ten movies which show us how not to use a business degree.

Check the 10 Movies That Show Us How Not To Use A Business Degree after the jump!

Fargo

Oh ya, Fargo. Fargo is a twisty tale of murder, drama, and comedy. It features William H. Macy (Jerry Lundegaard) as a car salesman whose business is doing pretty poorly. The bank is threatening to withdraw loans against cars at his dealership after some accounting issues. Not only is Lundegaard a terrible businessman to begin with (fudging numbers quite unsuccessfully), but he furthers his troubles by hiring two surly men to kidnap his wife for a fee. Lundegaard plans to extort ransom money from rich father-in-law, but the plan goes awry when the kidnappers start murdering people and become the center of an investigation. Should Lundegaard have stuck to using his business degree? By the looks of his career in car sales, probably not. It just turns out that he wasn’t a better criminal.

 

Michael Clayton

Michael Clayton is a 2007 drama starring George Clooney and Tilda Swinton. Clayton is played by Clooney, and paints a picture of a man with a gambling problem. As a lawyer, his job entails using loopholes in the legal system along with some ‘connections and influence’ to the benefit of his clients. When Clayton takes on a big case against an agricultural company called U-North, general counsel woman Karen Crowder (Swinton) gets wind of it and readies her guns. One by one, she begins ordering hits on all the people implicating U-North in the lawsuit. If this isn’t a terrible misuse of a business degree, what is? Not only is this lady killing people for her company, but it’s to defend a corporation which is manufacturing carcinogenic weed killers. Crowder isn’t even defending a good cause — she’s killing people to defend killing other people.

 

Office Space

Much like the show The Office, all the people working at this dead-end company have horribly misused their business degrees. We want them to start their own businesses, or even go out and become American Psycho; anything would be better for these people than working in a droll cubicle, listening to bosses command them around like machinery. The best use of a business degree in this film is when the three friends realize how awful life at the company is and decide to smash everything.

 

American Psycho

Despite his herring-bone cards and perfectly pressed suits, Patrick Bateman does not know how to properly use his business degree. Just look at all that blood. Bateman runs around buck wild for most of the film, murdering prostitutes, homeless people, and even his own fiance. He uses chainsaws, nailguns, and bites a girl’s vagina off. His father owns the company where he works, however, so perhaps this is one of the best uses of a business degree ever. Not only does he have a lot of money for his defense/bail, but Bateman can take as much time as he wants away from work and still get paid.

 

House of 1000 Corpses

While Captain Spaulding is perhaps one of the most-loved (and most feared) clowns around, he did a pretty poor job applying his business degree to real life — assuming he earned one, or even went to school at all. Spaulding decided to open up his Museum of the Strange in the middle of nowhere, first of all. Business school teaches the student that location truly does matter. If Spaulding set out with the intention of murdering as many people as possible without repercussions, he chose the right spot. If he were looking for big crowds to entertain, not so much.

 

The Social Network

Okay, so the guy is a billionaire. That being said, Mark Zuckerberg’s use of his business degree was pretty lame. Not only was he in cahoots with the CIA, who was behind the whole operation, but he is now the most-hated man on the planet. Zuckerberg is going to have an incredibly hard time forming a genuine relationship with a woman after the whole Facebook fiasco. Not to mention the multiple privacy issues and problems the site has been scrutinized for; business degrees should probably not be used to spy on and try to exert ownership over the lives of fellow humans.

 

Alien Franchise

The Weyland-Yutani corporation is one of the most ruthless companies out there. Featured in the Aliens series, this company’s only objective was capturing (and somehow using) aliens for human benefit. The company is attempting to domesticate the aliens, which are vicious creatures who kill humans for breeding purposes and have little to no emotions. Over the past 100 years, the success rate of this project has been 0%. Someone’s getting fired and should have their business degree revoked as well.

 

RoboCop

Why would the company in RoboCop, named Omni, be interested in purchasing Detroit use robots instead of humans to clean up the crime? Wouldn’t creating robots be much more costly than just using real people? This company needs the crime-ridden city of Detroit, and now! Or in 100 years, after the robots are done destroying the city and contractors finish rebuilding it again. Not only that, but only one of the robots in the RoboCop program actually worked well enough to be deployed as a real cop, but he’s too busy fighting the evil robots to be of any use. What a terrible business plan.

 

The Resident Evil Series

The Umbrella Corporation is another evil company full of people who should have been banned from business school. Resident Evil shows us a company who really, really wants to make zombies as a result of a reverse-aging process that went wrong and produced… you guessed it — zombies. Regardless of how stupid it is to try and create zombies, Umbrella was facing an even bigger problem: how does one profit from manufacturing zombies? There doesn’t seem to be a very clear or substantial answer to this, just a bunch of misused business degrees.

 

The Insider

The Insider is another example of business men who choose to work for a company with no regard for human life instead of wanting to better society in any way. When a research chemist (Wigand) agrees to appear on “60 Minutes” on Big Tobacco, the tobacco company in question is in danger of facing perjury charges before a supreme court. Based on a true story, Wigand and his family come under fire for the whistleblowing. Despite a bullet left in his mailbox and death threats coming in email form, the FBI treat Wigand like the suspect and confiscate his computer. Wigand is left by his wife and kids and left to suffer in the midst of a fiasco that exists merely because the truth would cost too much money. A business degree used for evil is a misused degree indeed.

Category: Featured, Film

Tags:

Advertisements