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Bruce Wayne may be the greatest business man alive. Wayne Industries is  effectively an infinite money supply, despite its CEO frequently  going missing or turning up sleep-deprived and with more bruising than a rugby team after a minor bus crash. There’s also the minor matter of  the frequent and literal hostile takeover attempts . Any company which  can continue to exist, never mind make a profit, under those  circumstances must be very well led. So what would Bruce Wayne tell  anyone getting a business degree?

Work

The whole point of Batman is that he wasn’t irradiated by space rocks,  injected with super-serum or born with the special kind of mutation  which means you can ignore physics. He’s human, not superhuman, and his  primary advantage is that he works harder than everyone else. Being a  billionaire genius certainly helps, but the core of the character is the relentless determination and drive.

You don’t need the same level of drive, because the method of getting it is a little rough on the parents. But you do need to aim higher than the  crowd. You can’t coast through a business degree doing the bare minimum  required, because then you’re not standing out from the crowd. There are thousands of such unambitious employees in Gotham. They’re called
henchmen, and the exceptional criminals use them to attack Batman. Which never works.

 

Network

If any business degree teacher doesn’t tell you to network, they’re an  impostor and know less about business than a Benedictine monk. A good  network is essential for achieving anything in business, and it’s not  just the good contacts who’ll help you. Bruce Wayne might be stuck  without trusted assistants like Alfred and Lucius Fox, but even more
essential is his database on Gotham’s villains. He needs to know  everything about his enemies in order to thwart them, in some cases even to find them, so Bruce Wayne would advise you to keep a very wide  network. And learn just as much about the people you don’t like, because you’ll be competing against them soon.

 

Research

Bruce Wayne is the master detective, scientist and forensics  specialist. The lesson here is research – an extension of the “work”  principle into a laser-like focus on any task. Especially in business,  where anything can become important to the next contract or an important presentation.  It is essential to learn everything you can about a  project.

 

 

Be Incredibly Rich

This is advice like “Don’t let yourself get hit by the freeze ray” –  incredibly obvious while not very helpful, but still something Bruce  Wayne uses every day. The fact is that money begets money, and Wayne Industries already got it all. The company makes more money  than the US Mint and is much less careful about keeping track of it. For example, the mint doesn’t spend 60% of its output on vast novelty
Bat-themed vehicles.

 

Don’t Investigate Wayne Industries Too Hard

Okay, this one is less “advice” and more “a warning growled in that  gravel-gargling voice which makes the movie trailer voiceover guy sound  like a castrato.” We’re not sure if everyone in Gotham capable of addingnumbers skipped their business degree and went straight into  numerological crimes, or what, but no-one has noticed the billion-dollar one man war on crime. Even putting up new shelves can escalate into the hundreds of dollars, so a subterranean anti-crime complex is a little  more than most companies could comfortably hide in the “Misc. Subsidies” column. Never mind Dr Freeze and Two Face, Batman’s real nemesis will  be the Taxman.

Category: Comics, Featured

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