The sweet science of movie marketing. Picking which fast food joint to have special promotions, getting the toys lined up to hit the shelves just a few weeks before the release date to pump up some hype, making sure you have a cologne for each of the main characters…. wait, what? Yep, to tie into the upcoming Joss Whedon mega Marvel movie event Jads International (the folks that brought you scents like Shirtless Kirk and Slave Leia) are releasing a line of nice smelly stuff inspired be the worlds mightiest heroes.
‘Cause you know, nothing sends a woman into the throes of passion than a dude smelling a defrosted WWII hero, ancient norse god, irradiated scientist or, alcoholic playboy. Ok, that last one probably does, but anyway.
Each one comes with a cheesy ham handed write up on how Avengery it is and if they are really honest about capturing what the character would smell like I’m betting the Hulk’s smells like feet.
Hit the jump for details on each and more.
Infinity Formula Cologne
Face danger with something dangerous. Activate the Initiative.
Colonel Nicholas ”Nick” Fury. Paratrooper, Ranger, Weapons and Demolitions Expert, Aircraft Specialistand Pilot, Green Beret. Veteran of every US War and Military Conflict since WWII. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. “The single most powerful, most important organization on the planet Earth.” And the only human strong enough to bring together a group of remarkable people who would fight the battles no one else could.
Your Attack Plan.
A cologne that pays homage to the confident, stand-up-to-bullies, hard working average Joe in every man. PATRIOT Cologne is both reserved and sexy; like a symbol on a shield or a moniker ona motorcycle helmet. Fresh notes of green lime and white pepper are the first to hit with dry oak wood, sandalwood and tequila accords finishing the adventure. Perfect for any time or place, PATRIOT Cologne puts the Novus Mundus in your strong, sensuous hands for you to embrace and discover.
Mark VII Cologne
A resolutely sophisticated cologne forged from the sea, the sun, the earth, and a touch of devil-may-care whimsy. Transparent, aromatic, and modern in nature, Mark VII combines mandarin, neroli, nasturtium and jasmine layered with light patchouli to create a contemporary expression of “I don’t play well with others” confidence; leaving you always ready for whatever a genius, billionaire, playboy-philanthropist might encounter along the way.
Very unusual and rare materials have been brought together to create a woody aquatic cologne evoking both a serene sense of timeless freedom and a single-minded, unbridled passion for life. Yuzu, bergamot and tarragon create clean, clear top notes along with unexpected accords of water lily and nutmeg. SMASH! then carries an intense woody drydown enriched with Indian sandalwood, vetiver, musk and sharp cedar. Complimentary to a full range of emotions, it wears well no matter where-at work, the lab or an evening out on the town.
Possess the Power.
This woody citrus cologne is a unique, meaningful combination of bergamot, frozen ginger and wheatgrass blended with a hint of fresh natural grapefruit and layered deeply with aromatic cypress. Basenotes are possessed with sensual, seductive tones of dark amber and cedarwood, protecting and enhancing a deep, dry masculine (dare we say almost God-like?) musk.
Made to Rule.
Possessed of Superhuman strength, Genius-level intelligence, Mystical powers, Telepathy, Flight, Clairvoyance, Therianthropy, and Teleportation… who could blame you for becoming the greatest trickster of them all? So wear your crown of baleful maleficence with pride; let mirth and mayhem stand ready at your side, anticipating your every command. Test their mettle knowing you have nothing to fear; you are Mischief and you were made to rule.
What… no Hawkeye? It could be called Cameo, have only three lines…
Also in Avengers marketing, are these.
Those are Avengers themed Red Envelopes, mixing Chinese New Years traditions with movie marketing! Genius! They will be handed out at select South East Asian movie theaters during the first six days of the Year of the Dragon, starting Monday, January 23rd.
Ok, I’ll admit, those are kinda cool. I’ve always been a sucker for the little chunks of paper promotion they hand you when you walk into a theatre. Wait, there is no Hawkeye here either? No love for the guy with just the bow and arrows. Ouch.
The Avengers arrives in theaters on May 4th. Directed by Joss Whedon and stars Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, and Jeremy Renner as the apparently unmarketable Hawkeye.