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So it’s another Friday night, and you know what that means: Time to get crunk… With another all new episode of Merlin! This week’s episode is called “A Servant of Two Masters” and to fan disappointment everywhere it’s not about Morgana in fetish leather. Of course, this is a family show so it shouldn’t be that surprising. Moving on.
In this week’s entry, Merlin comes face-to-face with an old friend, and the reunion isn’t nearly as cozy as that sentence comes across. Speaking of Morgana, she actually comes face-to-face with her future, as another nefarious plan to axe Arthur gets queued up and only our boy Merlin has the chutzpah to put the kibosh on it, or Arthur. That will make sense later in the recap.
READ MORE AFTER THE JUMP
We open with the Knights (and Merlin) riding to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Merlin’s a little skidish about this excursion because some messed-up, crazy, freaky stuff goes down in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. And just as Arthur starts to explain why the fact that no one goes in there makes it an ideal short cut, the Knights are mobbed by a literal mob coming over the hill.
Oh snap, guess it’s not a secret after all, says Merlin. FIGHT! It’s sword on sword action as the bad guys are easily dispatched, but in the course of battle Merlin gets maced. “My eyes! My eyes!” he screams. Kidding, it’s the other type of mace that Merlin takes to the chest. And he’s down! Cue opening credits.
Separated from the group as night falls, Arthur leads the injured Merlin back to the safety of Camelot, good thing since they’re being chased by a couple of medieval gangbangers. Arthur tries to keep things light, telling Merlin that after a night’s rest he’ll be ready to polish his armour again. There’s some good broments here as Arthur admits that he has a good servant is brave and loyal, and Merlin thanks Arthur for saving his life. The broment doesn’t usually get achieved so early, but there it is. Obviously, a couple of dozen fan fic writers can take it from here.
The ‘bangers are still on their tail as day breaks, and Arthur hoists Merlin over his shoulder to make a quick escape. But caught in a ravine, Arthur finds himself out-numbered and out-sworded, but tonight he’s going to dine in hell as he puts Merlin down and gets ready for a fight. Merlin, realizing Arthur’s going to lose, magically causes a rock slide to separate the ‘bangers from Arthur. So what becomes of our young warlock?
Why he’s a prisoner of Morgana now, of course, as it’s revealed that the bad guy welcoming committee for Arthur and the Knights (and Merlin) was organized by Uncle Agravaine. Needless to say, Morgana is, ahem, a wee bit disappointed that one day, one night and a couple of dozen men have only yielded one servant boy as prisoner. Like Han Solo trying to fix the hyper space, it’s so not Agravaine’s fault, but it is what it is. After a tongue lashing by Morgana (though not the tongue lashing he wants, Agravaine’s a perv, remember?) Agravaine goes to kill Merlin, but Morgana stops him. The boy may yet be useful.
Back at Morgana’s hut she goes all Jack Bauer on Merlin, reviving him with some light water boarding. Let’s just say that Merlin knows he’s f**ked…
“I haven’t seen you since you condemned by sister to a slow and painful death, thwarted my plans to take over Camelot and forced me to live in a hovel,” purrs Morgana.
“My bad?” Merlin says.
To Morgana’s credit, she makes torture look hot. Meanwhile, the Knights meet up with Arthur, and they all head back to the castle to regroup. Gaius comes into the chamber and asks about the whereabouts of Merlin. Chill out, assures Arthur, we’re totally sending a search party out tomorrow to find him, which, of course, later comes back empty handed.
Back at Chez Morgana, the witch puts more nefarious schemes in motion. This time, the plan involves a Fomorroh, a seven-headed snake that can control your mind should one of its regrowable heads be cut off and implanted in your brain. Kind of like this:
So you better believe that Admiral Kirk is next on Morgana’s hit list once Arthur is out of the way! In the meantime, back in Camelot, Merlin has been replaced by George, who clearly is the improved Merlin 2.0 judging by his neatly press closed, exuberant disposition and eager to please attitude. But we all know that Arthur doesn’t keep Merlin around for the service. So what’s that thing they say about doing a job right? Yes, Arthur will find Merlin himself, with Gwaine in tow. Ain’t no way he’s going to lose his lazy, forgetful and occasionally drunken servant for some sycophant.
Merlin comes to in the mud, and he’s found rather quickly by Arthur and Gwaine. Arthur was so glad to find Merlin that he didn’t even question why his uncle did a completely terrible search for the kid given how easily he was found in a nearby bog. Back at Camelot, Gaius is serving a Merlin a special welcome home stew, and the subject turns to poison. “What’s the strongest poison you have?” asks Merlin before he grabs a random vial adding, “You never know when you might need to poison something.” True enough.
Merlin doses a dish in poison and is off to see the King, only to find that Gwen has beaten him to the punch – serving Arthur lunch that is, not poisoning him with it. Plan B: Merlin goes for a crossbow, but he’s looking in the wrong place. Fortunately, Sir Leon helps him out with a mighty fine crossbow, one good enough to kill Arthur. “Driving you mad, is he?” asks Leon jokingly. “Not for much longer,” says a jovial Merlin.
Despite going all Home Alone on Arthur, Merlin continues to be thwarted in his attempts to kill the king. Meanwhile, Gaius and Gwen get suspicious after finding the lunch Merlin made Arthur in the pen with a couple of poisoned pigs. Stopping Merlin from killing Arthur with the king’s own sword, Gwen takes out Merlin with a swift hit to the head with a jug. After a little open neck surgery, it seems that Merlin will soon be back to his old self, or is he? We’ll find out once Agravaine weasels out of Arthur’s suspicion for being the traitor in Camelot, placing it squarely on Gaius.
As for Merlin, the surgery didn’t work so well and he is back to his killing Arthur obsession with a deadly bath of corrosive water. Fortunately, Gwen manages to take another jug to Merlin’s head, and in the process gets a peak at, ahem, little Arthur. Gaius manages to put the snake to sleep again, and works with the now lucid Merlin to find a way to get rid of the creature for good. Sadly, the only way is to kill the original Fomorroh in Morgana’s hut. Sounds like a job for Old Merlin, AKA: Dragoon the Great.
Not to nitpick, but I think the Old Merlin plot device is kind of becoming a deus ex machina as he’s appeared in half of the first six episodes of the season. (Granted, one of those is legitimately the older Merlin, as in the one in the future, but I’m still counting it.) There was a fun scene where Old Merlin takes out the Knights when they run into him in the forest. It shows that Merlin’s pretty powerful when he can cut loose and not have to worry about hiding his abilities, and a little fun never hurt anyone. (Except Gwaine, Percival, Leon and Elyan.)
Agravaine is updating Morgana on current developments, including his brilliant bit of improv casting Gaius as a traitor. Morgana is unimpressed, and Agravaine’s “celebration” seems further away than ever. But hey, Merlin watched him leave, so there’s that bit of bad news for our resident perv.
Old Merlin breaks into Morgana’s hut and starts looking for the Fomorroh, and when Morgana returns with firewood she’s a little freaked out that the man from her vision is standing there in her old shack. Morgana’s convinced that Old Merlin is a figment of her imagination. “Yeah, totally baby,” he says. “I’m absolutely a figment of your imagination.”
Merlin grabs the Fomorroh and does a runner, but Morgana catches up to him, and they do magically battle. Merlin casts the defeating spell of a magical tornado, knocking out Morgana and allowing him to escape with the Fomorroh, which he swiftly burns. Back at Camelot, Gaius takes the last piece of snake out of Merlin’s neck, but apparently Merlin’s reputation as the kingdom’s most consistent drunk remains. (Remember, Merlin’s uneventful absences are explained by trips to the pub, which begs the question, why doesn’t anyone ever go to the pub to look for him?)
Merlin’s punishment is to spend a week being bossed around by George the 2.0 Merlin and learning the fine art of being a real British butler. “Why not just give him the job if he’s so good?” asks Merlin. The guy is as boring as watching paint dry, says Arthur. Broment achieved.
It’s a good thing that Merlin’s mentor isn’t Samuel L. Jackson because he would have told Merlin that he should have killed the bitch in reference to Morgana, who he left out in the woods, face down and concussed after the magical tornado. Agravaine finds his boss lady and is on the verge of tears. If she dies, he’ll never get to live that fantasy involving skin-tight vinyl and a whip. Remember, Agravaine is a perv.
Next week, Morgana has Gaius kidnapped in her quest to learn the identity of Emrys, so I guess she bounces back fairly smooth from that whole brain injury thing. See you next week.
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