Note: I got a little wordy with this post. If you don’t care to read my rant, then here’s the gist of it: The dudes the made Harold and Kumar (writer-directors Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg) want to reboot Back to the Future. I’m not sure if they’re are serious, or if they are just trolling. If they are not kidding, then join with me as I make a call the Cthulhu.
I’ve come to a realization that Hollywood will not stop with remaking and rebooting popular movie franchises. It’s a reality I’ve come expect and accept. Put it this way its as if dominatrix hogties you with nylon rope, hangs you from the ceiling and then proceeds to introduce your anus with the biggest, angriest looking dildo you’ve ever seen… and there’s nothing you can do about it. But there comes a time when you simply gotta fight! Sometimes you just gotta bite through that nylon rope, drop yourself from that ceiling (like a suave Spider-Man) and disembowel the bitch that plans to rape you. Hostel style.This is one of those times…
Robert Zemeckis‘ Back to the Future was, is and always will be a true Sci-Fi classic. It’s one of the rare big-budget entertainments that’s improved with time (no pun intended). Anyway, two Hollywood douche canoes want to remake it. With American Reunion about to hit theaters and —and A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas making some bank, writer-directors Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg have made a splash at Universal. These two have basically been given carte blanche to do whatever the hell they want and Universal will make it happen.
Our friends at Moviehole asked these fartknockers what pickings from Universal’s catalog they’d like to get their hands on, they eventually came clean about their Back to the Future dream. Schlossberg said the following:
“I wouldn’t want to do it now because people would be like, ‘Oh, there’s no way it will be as good as the original.’ But 30 years from now when Spielberg’s, like, 90 and those guys are kind of on their way out, and those movies just look really old because we’re watching movies that are old, literally in two dimensions or something, it would be great to have all these classics that you’re able to remake.”
OK, so maybe all my vehement talk of killing and disembowelment was a little extreme. These guys obviously aren’t making any immediate plans to update BTTF. However, fuck them for considering it and shit on their chin for planting the seed. My anger is completely warranted. I don’t how dated BTTF will be 30’s years from now, you don’t freaking touche this film!