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Mapping out the Zombie Apocalypse

First off, if you don’t already have a list of gun stores, grocery stores, and choice hiding places committed to memory for the coming zompocalypse, your name may as well be chum when the un-dead rise, writhe, and wreak havoc. With that said, and my disdain for you clear, the people at Map of the Dead are looking out for your fool asses by creating a site built off of the Google Maps engine that locates your local gun shop (how fucked are the blue states?), convenience stores, police departments, hospitals, and pharmacies, so you can heal up when your health bar gets low or plow the farmers daughter while shopping for a pregnancy test for the hussy back at camp.

The map also indicates the location of your nearest mall (if you want to give the Dawn of the Dead scenario a go), cemetery (Night of the Living Dead), and liquor store (Not really, but close enough to Shaun of the Dead don’t you think?) — sadly, there is no mention of strip clubs or fine pornography outlets, so I’d advise you to stockpile on those items now.

The maps are printable, because when the dead rise the tech will surely fall and everyone who asks Siri how to best a horde will find themselves disappointed and disemboweled by gnawing zed teeth and pawing zed claws.

As for me, I’m decidedly fucked with nothing around me but suburbanites and trees. So, do I turn to cannibalism or become The Real Warlord of New Jersey when the zombies come? Nah, I’m goona befriend a survivalist, slowly earn his trust with my crazy good wood working skills and Frakes-ian beard, and then beat him with a George Foreman grill until he gives me his guns, and his toilet wine, since there are no liquor stores by me either. What? End of the world baby, we ain’t in fantasy land anymore!

Sources: Blastr, Neat-o-rama

 

Category: Nerd Culture

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