Is not out yet… (who just put the emphasis in the “bastards” part of our name? I did.) But, according to Amazing Spider-Man director Marc Webb, an all-new Spidey trailer will most likely debut next Thursday online before it rests in front of The Avengers, joining The Dark Knight Rises trailer that will “open” for Marvel’s super-team mega-movie when it opens on May 4th. And, by the way, if that release date isn’t branded onto your soul after the last few weeks of wall to wall marketing, I really think you should embrace the Amish lifestyle that you are surely inching toward. Honestly, to borrow an old (not terribly funny joke), I think they’re running Avengers ads on the screen during colonoscopies.
Here’s the un-official, half-lazy synopsis for The Amazing Spider-Man:
Some dude’s parents get iced, he grows up with his uncle, who used to be President of the United States. and his aunt who has super powers — she’s a flying nun. The dude goes to high school and then a spider bites him and he loses his shares in Facebook. It’s cool though, he gets spider powers and he meets up with this blonde chick who used to go out with Ryan Gosling, but oh no! Her dad is a cop, and he used to be a firefighter and also, there is this weirdo teacher who turns into a lizard, but everything works out in the end because James Franco isn’t in it and Peter Parker doesn’t dance or wear mascara.
The Amazing Spider-Man comes out on July 3rd, I imagine the next franchise re-boot will be along 18 months later, and yes it will be an origin story.