If you’ve spent even a fraction of time on the internet, or planet Earth for that matter, you know dumb people exist. Sometimes it feels like they’re everywhere, surrounding you, suffocating you with their idiocy. There’s really no helping it, there will always be dumb people. The best thing you can do is laugh and then forget, because honestly, dumb people are worth at least a few chuckles if nothing else.

So, The Dark Knight Rises is opening Friday. It’s kind of a big deal, you might have heard about it. Know who else has heard of it? Rush Limbaugh. He decided to talk about the epic Batman flick on his daily radio show, and well, I’ll just let him speak for himself,

Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie — what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something? Whatever the name of it is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane? … Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters. It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear ‘Bane’ in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain. And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie — ‘Oh yeah, I know who that is.’ There are some people who think it will work. There are some people think it will work. Others think — ‘You’re really underestimating the American people who think that will work.

Ow. Rush make head hurt.

I don’t even know where to begin, and I’m guessing I’d be better off if I just didn’t, but here I go anyway. I stay as far away from political news as I can these days because it’s soul crushing, so I hadn’t heard anything about Bain Capitol until some dumb shit dragged Batman into it. And what has Rush accomplished by telling me there’s some secret conspiracy using the character Bane to sully the “good” name of Bain Capital and Mitt Romney? I Google’d it and now have another reason to believe Romney’s corporate sleaze. Good going, Rush! You’ve become your own conspiracy!

Also, fire-breathing? Really??

Anyway, let’s move on. You might have heard that quite a few early reviews are already in for The Dark Knight Rises. Many of those were represented on the popular review site, Rotten Tomatoes and the film has leveled out with a rating of 85%. I’d say that’s pretty decent, considering these are only the earliest reviews most likely from the most critical of critics. But, and here’s where I sometimes feel ashamed to be a fan, because some people really embody that fanatical part of being a fan and do despicable things. Like threatening those who gave The Dark Knight Rises a poor review with violence and death.

Guys, it’s a movie. It could be a swell movie, it could be a shitty movie, we don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. In what world is saying a movie sucks warrant such attack? Oh right, in the world of anonymous internet comments, of course.

Rotten Tomatoes has since removed commenting from The Dark Knight Rises‘ page. Some are upset they’d cave to trolls – ha! see what did there? totally unintentional and I love it – and see this as banning of free speech, but I say its their website they don’t want to deal with your crap, they don’t have to. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. Which, funny enough, is what site editor-in-chief Matt Atchity titled his open letter to the site’s user explaining why the comments were removed. Here’s a quote that sums up the sentiment of the letter,

But if I could ask everyone for one thing, it’s this: don’t be a dick. Even if you think someone else is being a dick. Just take a deep breath, step away from the computer, and maybe go for a walk. Have a smoke if you need one. There are plenty of other things to get angry about, like war, famine, poverty and crime. But not movie reviews.

Best rule in life to live by, don’t be a dick.

Thanks to The Mary Sue and Blastr for giving us the scoop on dumb people and how they try and ruin Batman for the rest of us.

Category: Film, WTF?

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