New ‘Robocop’ Deets Will Probably Make You Weep

Prepare to have any hope you have for the upcoming Robocop remake dashed. Hit Fix’s Drew McWeeny got his hand on the script and shared his thoughts over Twitter while reading it. Screen Rant put together a transcript of McWeeny’s thoughts on the script, and the picture it paints isn’t pretty. Here we go…

I’ll share this one detail. In the film, when Murphy is turned into Robocop 1.0, it’s described “a high-tech version of the ’80s suit.”

Then they show a focus group scene where criminals laugh at the design. “He looks like a toy from the ’80s!”

So they redesign him to look “meaner” as Robocop 2.0, who passes focus group approval.

So they not only make sure to include the original design, they also point out it’s dated and stupid. *facepalm*

Hold onto your sides for more hilarious “Robocop” details. They outsource his construction to China. #seriously

And we meet the ED-209s in the field in Iran, where they’re used to subdue suicide bombers. #ineedallthedrinksnow

Ahhh… now they just dropped Robocop 3.0 onto an Al Queda training camp to see what he does.

“He should be programmed to incapacitate in all scenarios.” “Agreed. Let’s keep him PG-13, Dr. Norton.” No. No. No. No.

By page 54, they are already onto Robocop 4.0, who looks like a “cop on steroids painted metallic blue.”

Oh, god… oh dear god… Robocop is a Transformer. He goes from “social mode” to “combat mode” and back. Full transformation..

Okay… the two “best” lines in the script. First up is at the unveiling ceremony for Robocop in Detroit, from a TV reporter covering it.

“I think it’s safe to say that Alex Murphy is now part man, part machine, ALL COP!” Yes, I too remember the original poster, asshat.

If you can get past Robocop The Transformer, there are some interesting action beats. And I’m sure Padilla will direct the hell out of it.

But overall? Ouch. Ouch. Ohpleasedon’t. Ouch. And a big side order of ouch.

Yeah, whenever the words “oh dear god,” and “Ohpleasedon’t” enter into a review, there’s slightly more than genuine cause to be concerned. It seems that screenwriters Joshua Zetumer and Nick Schenk have discovered that it is possible to stray too far from the source material. Robocop by way of Iron Man and Transformers? Color me unimpressed.

Robocop (2.0), directed by Jose Padilha and  starring Joel Kinnaman, Samuel L. Jackson, Hugh Laurie, Michael Kenneth Williams, Gary Oldman and Jackie Earle Haley, is scheduled for release on on August 9, 2013.

Source: Screen Rant

Category: Film

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